I was so destroyed and overcome by all the time we had wasted and all the years of distance between us because of an argument and my own stubbornness. I bent down and kissed her sunken cheek, as my tears joined hers and whispered that I never stopped loving her and that it was I who should ask for her forgiveness. As her breathing became labored, the oxygen mask was replaced, and I began to tell her all that was in my heart. I promised her that I would find a way to reunite our families and do all I could to help her husband and children, if they would let me. The tears of twenty-six years, long pent up, were released at her bedside that day. She passed away two days later with her husband, children, some of the older grandchildren and I at her bedside. At the shiva, her husband and children made me feel as if I had always been in their lives and told me that they wanted our families to be reunited, to honor their mother’s memory and last wish. I stayed with them for another week, getting to know my nieces and nephews and their children and it was a healing and comforting reunion. Upon my return home, I gathered my own children and, through tears, explained the sad and foolish choices I had made, resulting in so much pain, sadness and separation. I asked them never to repeat what happened and that any upset or disagreement that may arise between them should be resolved with forgiveness and love.
Life is too short for grudges. Love is too precious to forfeit in the name of pride. One never knows when the opportunity for forgiveness will present itself again.
Dear Friend,
May you find consolation for your loss in the reconciliation between your sister, of blessed memory, and yourself, even in the last moments of her life. That she reached out to you as she hovered between life and death shows how strong the bond between you actually was. More importantly, the lesson to take away from your story is the destructive and decimating power of lashon hara. Had your neighbor not chosen to hear, she would not have been able to spread what she heard to others. The power of words can build or destroy and we must always be vigilant as to what passes through our lips and what message those words send to the ears of others. The power of forgiveness can salvage that which is destroyed through evil speech, but at great cost. You are living proof of this.
If we would love each other as we should, we would never think of speaking badly about each other or want to hear another person say anything bad and, thus, there would be no danger of lashon hara. You and your sister were blessed that in the end, Hakodosh Boruch Hu, in His infinite mercy, allowed your sister to pass into her eternal rest with the knowledge that she was forgiven and the love you both misplaced was restored. Others in similar circumstances are not so lucky and go through life with guilt and sorrow that will never be resolved.
Going forward, may your family and your sister’s family celebrate many simchas together and may she be a melitza yeshara for all of you.