Dear Mrs. Bluth,
I have been grappling with my conscience for some months now on whether to speak of almost making good on an old promise, made in my youth in a moment of extreme anger and vindictiveness. As an eighth grader in a new yeshiva, after having moved to another state where my father found a job as a mashgiach, the class bully made sport of me almost daily. I did not tell my parents about this because they were having parnassah issues and I felt I could stick it out until graduation. However, it was getting more and more difficult to withstand the oppressive almost daily torment.
One day not long before graduation, we were having a farher by the rosh yeshiva at which time each student was evaluated for acceptance in a choshuv high school. I had studied really hard for this bechina and dressed in my best clothes to make a good impression. But as soon as I sat down in my seat I knew I was in trouble. I felt a warm, stickiness on the seat of my pants and when I tried to get up, I found myself stuck to my chair unable to stand. Then I heard the snickering and laughter of the bully and his cronies. My anger was so great I literally ripped the entire seat of my pants so I could stand when called upon to be tested. I felt such shame and hate as never before and swore I’d get my revenge. In spite of everything, I did very well on my farher and as I backed myself into my seat, I caught the puzzled look of the rosh yeshiva and my rebbi. I was terrified that I had ruined any chance of a good impression, even though I had excelled in my learning.
After the closing bell rang for dismissal, the bully and his gang wanted to get last licks in and waited for me outside the school building. A fist fight ensued, egged on by his cronies, I ended up with a split lip and a black eye when the bully was pulled off me. And that is when I let my anger take control. I yelled at him that one day we’d meet up and he would need my help and I would spit in his face and tell him to jump off a cliff. Of course he laughed at me as my tears came streaming down my face and yelled over his shoulder that that day would never come and that he would die before ever asking for any help from me. The bitter taste of that day had stayed with me for a very long time, albeit getting dimmer and dimmer over the years. Until I stopped thinking of it altogether as life lead me down a different path.
I got into a wonderful high school and had a great group of friends, some of which remain my chevrusa to this day. I went into medical school and built a reputation as a dependable and skilled surgeon, a team player and always ready to help out anyone in need. I also got married to a wonderful aishes chayil with whom I have seven beautiful children and I am an active contributor to my shul and the yeshivos my children attend. One day my young son, who was in the fourth grade, came home with a bruised face and when I questioned him as to what happened, he said a kid in a higher grade sucker punched him. Suddenly I felt my anger rise as I had instant recall of my own experience. I took personal time to speak to the principal about this situation as I didn’t trust myself to handle it. The principal informed me that the boy’s father was gravely ill and needed a kidney transplant in the very near future as the end of his life was imminent. I found out where they were screening for a match and signed on.
I got a call from the hospital that I was an exact match for the father of my son’s bully and if I was willing and ready to step up to the plate for surgery as time was running out for the dad, they would schedule the surgery immediately. I made a few phone calls for people to cover my patients, and speaking to my wife, who supported my decision to donate a kidney, and was at the hospital the very next day for the surgery. All went baruch Hashem well, and I was ready to return home two days later.
Before I was signed out, the surgeon who operated on me said that the man who now had my kidney wished to thank me in person and would I see him. I couldn’t understand why not, although not every recipient wishes to meet their donor, so I was wheeled into his room. And that’s when I understood the miraculous ways of the Rebbono Shel Olam. For a fraction of a second I was a twelve-year-old boy staring into the face of the bully who swore he would die before he would ever accept help from me, and we both broke down and wept! Our words came to fruition, I yelling at him that one day he would need my help and he sneering that he would die before he asked anything from me, so he had to almost die before I was asked to donate my kidney to help him live! We both asked each other for mechila over our hostile words, said in anger, and forgave each other for all the years we carried this burden.
Today, six months after the event, we have become the best of friends as are our boys. Hashem Yisbarach saw my plight and the regret I had for uttering that I would not help the bully should he ever ask in the future, and gave me the opportunity to do teshuva, and at the same time He taught my childhood bully that he almost did die had he not received my help. Hashem sees and hears everything and gives us the ability to correct our errors. In these days of hardship and struggle, Hashem sends us miracles great and small. We have only to trust and believe in His goodness so that we will be zoche to see them.
Dear Friend,
Every so often I get an amazing letter that lifts me up and gives me immense joy. There is so much strife, grief and pain that comes my way that when I get a letter such as yours I almost feel I don’t have to try and fix anything… no advice necessary! All I can add or contribute here is what I have said in the past, that there are miracles and wonders all around us if only we choose to acknowledge Hashem’s presence in our lives.
I would ask you to continue telling others your wonderful encounter with this miracle. There are so many people who would be uplifted from their own troubles were they to hear it from you first hand. Thank you for sharing it with us and I am sure there are many readers who will draw strength and comfort from it, knowing our Heavenly Father is always in our midst and watching over us. Wishing you both a refuah shelaima b’karov and many, many years of good friendship.
