The in-laws are a harder nut to crack because they’ve been doing it this way for so long and will find it difficult to understand why, suddenly, you’re changing the game plan. They may take it personally and get offended, but let’s hope they read this column and see that what they think they’re doing out of love for the kids is really harmful to them. Perhaps you might suggest that instead of them buying the children such extravagant gifts, they take them on trips or you can send the kids to visit with them. That would be a far more lasting and enjoyable gift than anything money can buy.
And lastly, there’s you and your wife, the two people who are at the helm of your ship, trying to avert a mutiny. You’ve let this go on for some years without really doing something positive and concrete. You charge from behind after the fact, when the gifts have already been bought and distributed, and expect everyone to be happy to return said items and capitulate to your way of thinking, with smiles and laughter. I don’t think so. Try getting your message across panim l’panim, over coffee and cake (always softens the mood) and see if this doesn’t set things right. What is also important to remember is that your children are of varied ages and what will work for the younger ones will not necessarily go over well with the older ones. Be respectful of the needs of the older ones, especially if they are teens or young adults, giving their choices consideration.
And to all parents out there – be cognizant of the fact that electronics may appear to be the way of the future, but I’ve seen enough children lose their way. Electronics can be an addictive substance that feeds right into the mind, unlike drugs or drink that must be ingested. But the damage is the same.
