Dear Friend,
Abuse, like Lady Justice, is blind. It consumes women, children, and men. Abuse is a cancer with a malignancy that breeds with silence and feeds on the weak, innocent and the aged. Abuse is inflicted by men, woman and children. In has always been so and it will continue to be so as long as society denies its existence.
Each time we lie while describing the “virtues” of a young man or woman for shidduch purposes, each time we withhold health or mental status information that could destroy a family, each time we justify not informing a prospective young woman or man about the dysfunction he or she will be walking into, we become responsible for the pain, the agony and the damage to a multitude of people. We are not helping to create a bayis neeman, but rather becoming an accessory to a crime against humanity. And I have seen much of it – violent spouse, abused spouse, damaged children and forever broken families.
Let this be a warning to all well-meaning parents to do true hishtadlus by asking very specific questions about middos – and not just about the prospective shidduch, but about the family as well. Listen to your children and take into account his or her feelings. And daven, daven, daven.
In respect to your situation, your son would greatly benefit from professional counseling to build him up emotionally.