Over-Served

You like him. You really do. You have had a great time together. You connected. Your parents did extensive research. They know he has qualities that they felt made him worthy of you. You have spent time together. Now, trust yourself. Trust the process.

Dear Dr. Yael,

Of course organization and being prepared will lower your anxiety, but what is just as important is teaching your brain that Pesach cleaning does not have to be anxiety provoking.

Happily, Ever After

There is an art to communication, where you truly listen, absorb and then discuss what you have heard. You cannot leave or walk out when you don’t like the discussion.

Dear Dr. Yael

I am not sure what your financial situation is, but it may be a good idea to get some professional help to aid your wife in her situation.

Time Clock

Take the time to self-reflect on your growth and sense of responsibility. Are you capable, emotionally stable, and grounded? Assess your ability to navigate the world around you, to stay the course during challenges, and to take care of yourself. If you feel like you have those in the bag, you are probably ready to date.

Dear Dr. Yael

This article is written leilui nishmas Sarah Shaindel bas Yitzchask Shraga HaLevi.

Wrong On Paper

Nobody will care about his resume or yours. Nobody will gape at your age difference. And nobody will ask how you could have dated a teacher. EVERYBODY will be too busy admiring your blessed connection and your wonderful happiness.

Dear Dr. Yael

It would also be prudent to limit the information you share with your parents. This will help you limit the opinions you get. This may be hard if you are used to sharing everything with your mothers and if you are close with them.

Size Me Up

We should care about our appearances and do what we want to make us feel good both inside and out. What this might mean to one person might be different to another.

Dear Dr. Yael

Share your own experiences with overcoming challenges to show vulnerability and resilience.

Dates Are Just A Number

Take a deep breath. You are doing so well. Dating someone you like, and feeling positive about your dates is huge. Everything was going nicely until your sister’s blanket statement about timelines and expectations through you off course.

Dear Dr. Yael

While it may appear to these people that by getting their way they are winning the battle, they are, in fact, losing the war. In other words when people behave this way, they may temporarily get their way, but ultimately, they can lose the relationship.

Dating 101

You need to be fully engaged on your dates. Make eye contact, allow your body language to showcase your interest, and listen carefully to what your date is saying. Show them that you are fully present and happy to be with them.

Dear Dr. Yael

We all have to make this choice. We can wallow in self-pity or we can do whatever we can to deal with our challenges.

Perfect But Single

There is no room for arrogance in dating. There will always be someone prettier, richer, smarter, and more talented than you. There will always be a girl who is more than you. If you do not see these girls, and only see those that are less than you, read this article carefully.

My Date. My Choice

A dater must always have an open mind. Objectivity and humility are central to dating and there are certainly times when we can lose ourselves in the exhaustion of it all.

Dear Dr. Yael

As a grandparent, it is definitely a huge gift to give your children time to get away; however, you also have to know your limits.

Be Real

Reflect on the moments where he yelled or screamed. You may notice that there are even more instances than you originally noticed.

Dear Dr. Yael

Driving in the tri-state area can be very difficult. There is a lot of traffic and impatient drivers. I think for all of us who drive, we feel the constant frustration in dealing with so much craziness on the road.

Same Ending. Different Story

While this is not simple, it is certainly possible. While, you may see that you are less malleable, you may notice that you are wiser, and more focused on what truly matters in building a happy life.

Dear Dr. Yael

The truth is that we can’t improve the situation without working on ourselves. Every person only has the power to change themselves.

Dear Dr. Yael

The dynamic of talking in shul during prayer or the reading of the Torah, when all is said and done is, with regard to many congregants, a conscious willingness to pervert the fundamental spiritual decorum.

One Way Street

It is inappropriate to date two girls at once. This applies to any number of dates that have passed. It’s wrong and there is no way to change that.

Dear Dr. Yael

It seems like Hashem gave you important things in life that money can’t buy. He gave you a special husband and a good family. These brachos are invaluable. Money does not buy happiness.

I Can(t)

Sit down for a minute. Just one minute, because this is going to be hard for you to hear. Date him. Date him with intention and an open mind and heart. Focus entirely on him when you date and give him the best version of you filled with enthusiasm and positivity.

Dear Dr. Yael

First try to figure out what is making your husband angry. He may have an issue with anger in general, but perhaps you can isolate the trigger points.

Last (Wo)Man Standing

It's okay not to attend. You don’t need to give a reason. You can just say that you wish her the greatest happiness but you won’t be able to fly in. That’s it. No explanation necessary.

Dear Dr. Yael

The most important thing is to keep reminding yourself that you are okay and safe to try to not encode this experience in a traumatic way.

A Picture Is Worth…

People look different in person, and you know… when they are not two dimensional. People look different after we talk to them, after we connect with them, and certainly after we LIKE them.

Dear Dr. Yael

You cannot blame your parents who probably suffer silently with the same situation. Please speak to your mechanechet who probably is not aware of your situation. Perhaps she can set up some kind of activity (even a chesed activity) that will foster friendships.

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