Dear Dr. Yael
Share your own experiences with overcoming challenges to show vulnerability and resilience.
Dates Are Just A Number
Take a deep breath. You are doing so well. Dating someone you like, and feeling positive about your dates is huge. Everything was going nicely until your sister’s blanket statement about timelines and expectations through you off course.
Dear Dr. Yael
While it may appear to these people that by getting their way they are winning the battle, they are, in fact, losing the war. In other words when people behave this way, they may temporarily get their way, but ultimately, they can lose the relationship.
Dating 101
You need to be fully engaged on your dates. Make eye contact, allow your body language to showcase your interest, and listen carefully to what your date is saying. Show them that you are fully present and happy to be with them.
Dear Dr. Yael
We all have to make this choice. We can wallow in self-pity or we can do whatever we can to deal with our challenges.
Perfect But Single
There is no room for arrogance in dating. There will always be someone prettier, richer, smarter, and more talented than you. There will always be a girl who is more than you. If you do not see these girls, and only see those that are less than you, read this article carefully.
My Date. My Choice
A dater must always have an open mind. Objectivity and humility are central to dating and there are certainly times when we can lose ourselves in the exhaustion of it all.
Dear Dr. Yael
As a grandparent, it is definitely a huge gift to give your children time to get away; however, you also have to know your limits.
Be Real
Reflect on the moments where he yelled or screamed. You may notice that there are even more instances than you originally noticed.
Dear Dr. Yael
Driving in the tri-state area can be very difficult. There is a lot of traffic and impatient drivers. I think for all of us who drive, we feel the constant frustration in dealing with so much craziness on the road.
Same Ending. Different Story
While this is not simple, it is certainly possible. While, you may see that you are less malleable, you may notice that you are wiser, and more focused on what truly matters in building a happy life.
Dear Dr. Yael
The truth is that we can’t improve the situation without working on ourselves. Every person only has the power to change themselves.
Dear Dr. Yael
The dynamic of talking in shul during prayer or the reading of the Torah, when all is said and done is, with regard to many congregants, a conscious willingness to pervert the fundamental spiritual decorum.
One Way Street
It is inappropriate to date two girls at once. This applies to any number of dates that have passed. It’s wrong and there is no way to change that.
Dear Dr. Yael
It seems like Hashem gave you important things in life that money can’t buy. He gave you a special husband and a good family. These brachos are invaluable. Money does not buy happiness.
I Can(t)
Sit down for a minute. Just one minute, because this is going to be hard for you to hear. Date him. Date him with intention and an open mind and heart. Focus entirely on him when you date and give him the best version of you filled with enthusiasm and positivity.
Dear Dr. Yael
First try to figure out what is making your husband angry. He may have an issue with anger in general, but perhaps you can isolate the trigger points.
Last (Wo)Man Standing
It's okay not to attend. You don’t need to give a reason. You can just say that you wish her the greatest happiness but you won’t be able to fly in. That’s it. No explanation necessary.
Dear Dr. Yael
The most important thing is to keep reminding yourself that you are okay and safe to try to not encode this experience in a traumatic way.
A Picture Is Worth…
People look different in person, and you know… when they are not two dimensional. People look different after we talk to them, after we connect with them, and certainly after we LIKE them.
Dear Dr. Yael
You cannot blame your parents who probably suffer silently with the same situation. Please speak to your mechanechet who probably is not aware of your situation. Perhaps she can set up some kind of activity (even a chesed activity) that will foster friendships.
On The Hook
While this is someone you really like, someone you even imagined marrying, you are not comfortable in this place of indecision. You don’t want to make a mistake by dismissing the person who could potentially be your zivug, but you are also not happy to live without any form of real commitment.
Red Flags: How Do I Spot Them?
We are Jews dating Jews. Regardless of your background or hashkafa, right or left, black hat or baseball cap, look for someone who believes in Da'as Torah.
Dear Dr. Yael
They found that sharing similar personality traits does not necessarily mean that a relationship will be more satisfying; however, perceiving that you are more similar will usually predict more satisfaction in a relationship.
A Damaged Dream
It is possible that this couple is not meant for one another. It’s possible that they will be better off going their own ways and finding different matches. It’s possible that their son knows absolutely that his feelings will never change.
Dear Dr. Yael,
Try hard not to overwhelm your kids when you talk to them or make them feel bad about their behavior.
Support Me!
You feel like you are close to an engagement and understandably want and expect the support of your family and friends. Yet, they are refusing to give you their blessing and have expressed concern instead.
Third Times A…
I am more often than not of the belief that another chance is the way to go. If the possibility even exists that this could be your match, you are looking at a lifetime of connection and happiness at best.
Dear Dr. Yael
Everyone is put in this world to fulfill a mission. We do not know what anyone’s mission is, and we must try to see everyone as a creation of Hashem and to treat everyone with the respect they deserve.
You Are Not Alone
Dating can be easy for some. They date one boy or two, they connect, build a relationship, and soon after they create a home and a family. For others, dating becomes complicated.