Dear Dr. Yael,
Try hard not to overwhelm your kids when you talk to them or make them feel bad about their behavior.
Support Me!
You feel like you are close to an engagement and understandably want and expect the support of your family and friends. Yet, they are refusing to give you their blessing and have expressed concern instead.
Third Times A…
I am more often than not of the belief that another chance is the way to go. If the possibility even exists that this could be your match, you are looking at a lifetime of connection and happiness at best.
Dear Dr. Yael
Everyone is put in this world to fulfill a mission. We do not know what anyone’s mission is, and we must try to see everyone as a creation of Hashem and to treat everyone with the respect they deserve.
You Are Not Alone
Dating can be easy for some. They date one boy or two, they connect, build a relationship, and soon after they create a home and a family. For others, dating becomes complicated.
Dear Dr. Yael
It is hard to break negative cycles in life. However, you chose to break the negative cycle by working to support your family and loving your wife and children, so that your children are able to grow up in an emotionally healthy home.
Dating Advisory
The solution is to stop going home. Just kidding. That would be a terrible solution. Instead, go home and have a sentence of appreciation at the ready.
Dear Dr. Yael
While I can give you tips on how to do this, it appears that you already have created a good, loving, and fun life where you give to others and you have close relationships.
Business Or Pleasure
You need to take yourself into account. You need your family now, their love, and the comfort and food from home. You need to spend time with family, and you need rest. This matters too. This matters more.
Answer My Prayers
Some people view dating like they would, sitting in traffic, or a in a parking lot. They believe you need to wholly focus on dating and getting married, and once you have accomplished that, you can expand and grow. So, they go to work and come home.
Dear Dr. Yael
The fact that you realize this need is exacerbated due to your struggle with self-esteem is helpful.
Dear Dr. Yael
Baruch Hashem you have a devoted husband, caring children and grandchildren. Although it is challenging to depend on others, you must be grateful that you are not alone and there are others around who care about you.
Men Vs. Women: A Response
What I find to be most objectionable however, is your statement, People today believe, (especially wives) if I make money that means I’m equal to a man. Bless your heart.
Dear Dr. Yael
Do you and your husband have any common interests? Maybe you can come up with some activities you both enjoy to do together without phones. Does your husband have any of his own hobbies or interests? Maybe you can encourage your husband to try hobbies that do not involve screens, like sports.
The Apple And The Tree
What an uncomfortable burden to carry! You believe that you have become a responsible and well-liked adult with good character and middos. Yet, you still worry about becoming the spouse you watched in your home.
Fifty-Fifty
I think the reason that the guys are not able to validate your argument however, is not because they can’t agree on your delineated list of chores. I believe instead, that your fifty-fifty attitude is probably holding them back.
Dear Dr. Yael
Don’t say things to yourself that you would not say to a good friend. Be understanding, gentle, accepting, and loving to yourself as you would with someone else that you care about.
The Money Tree
You family has done you a disservice in not being more transparent about the money that they earn to afford the lifestyle that they have raised you in and the effort that it takes for them to get there. Life in expensive.
Dear Readers
Meira in Hebrew means giving light and our beautiful Meira was a light so bright, who during her young life, managed to chase away the darkness of her challenges to inspire her family, friends and community.
Sister Stand-Still
Perhaps though, decide to rely on Hashem and relinquish the power you are clinging to with shaky hands. Tell your parents that you would like to discuss the option of your sister dating as well and surrender your role as gatekeeper to a greater master plan.
Dear Dr. Yael
It is OK to mention my child to me. In fact, as I wrote above, it comforts me.
Dateless
Take a moment to catalogue the net you have cast in shidduchim. Have you only reached out to people in your community, your state, or your exact upbringing? Consider widening the net to include a broader scale of possibilities.
Dear Dr. Yael
The first thing I would recommend is for you and your husband to make some extra time for your marriage. Going out together, without any children, does wonders for that dimming spark, as you and your husband will be able to just enjoy each other without all of the distractions of daily life.
Show Me The Money!
I know that this will be uncomfortable for you to hear and will not offer you the satisfaction and peace of mind that you crave, but I need you to stay in your own lane. Unless you or your chosson are contributing financially to the wedding, this is not your business.
Dear Dr. Yael
I know that people really mean well. So next time you pay a shiva call, think before you go - How can I make the person and or people sitting shiva feel more comfortable?
Secrets
It might be prudent to explore why you have kept this secret. Sometimes we are conditioned to be ashamed, embarrassed, and diminished by those who love us best because they worry about shidduchim, or perceived judgment they imagine you will face.
Dear Dr. Yael
Relationships are complicated. Children react differently to their parents. Unfortunately in many situations that I work with, the in-law children sometimes influence their spouses to have less derech eretz for their parents.
I Guarantee It!
Many couples in your circle will get married and build loving and successful lives together. They are the waves we can rely on. They reassure us and give us hope for ourselves.
Dear Dr. Yael
Unfortunately, often parents can raise many children while many children cannot always care for their parents properly. It is so important that those who are suffering have a support group to turn to to help them through this difficult time period.
Clothes Make The (Wo)Man
If a kallah was writing with this question about her chosson, I believe that there would be little to no pushback. A girl is allowed to notice clothing, but a guy is not?
Headlines
Latest News Stories
Recommended Today
Sponsored Posts
