Dear Dr. Yael
Your husband, as you report, has been raised in a home where his mother was completely dependent on his father. Thus, his expectation is for you to be the same way on some level.
Advocating For The Personal Touch
He needs to have a different ring for his work number in order to be able to ignore all other incoming calls and message alerts. This will give him the opportunity to only speak on the phone or retrieve texts when it is absolutely necessary to do so.
Dear Dr. Yael
We have been made to feel socially isolated and only marginally important.
Dating Advisory
The solution is to stop going home. Just kidding. That would be a terrible solution. Instead, go home and have a sentence of appreciation at the ready.
Game Over
You made a decision that still means something to you and he decided that he needs a different path. This is hard, it hurts, and it’s extremely upsetting.
Dear Dr. Yael
I question whether you must call her often and bear the pain of her hurtful remarks.
An Appeal To Readers
Dear Readers:
It is Motzei Rosh Hashanah as I write this letter. I have been a therapist for over thirty years and devote a large part of my practice to marital and pre-marital therapy. This year I have had many clients seeking my services after they sought help from other frum therapists. Regarding this, I wish to address the following phenomena:
Covid Catch
After an enlightening conversation about your respective Covid beliefs, you worry that you have unearthed a divide too big to bridge...
Mr. Penny Pincher
Is he helping his family financially through a difficult time and has been forced to be careful?
Help! I Am Losing Sleep!
Dear Dr. Yael:
My husband recently started davening in a vasikin (sunrise) minyan. Our problem is that I am a light sleeper, and he sleeps right through his alarm. I realize that while he is not trying to be cruel by intentionally leaving on his radio in the middle of the night just to hear what is going on in the world, my patience is extremely thin at 4 a.m.
Interacting With Coworkers
Dear Dr. Yael:
I am very happy and successful in my line of work. However, I am having trouble with a coworker and hope you can help me.
A few months ago, a new woman began working at my office. We share a workspace and often have to work together on projects. This woman seemed nice, but there have been several awkward situations between us that are really bothering me.
The Healthy Divorce
On average each couple will have between 4-6 sessions with a week to ten days between sessions.
Don’t Stop Believing
You never want someone to feel compelled to marry you because a certain number of dates have passed and he feels bad, or to move toward marriage if he does not feel thrilled to be doing so.
Dear Dr. Yael
Although there are many men who still crave to enter the world of chinuch, there is sometimes a lack of middos in how the rebbeim are treated and this can filter down to the children.
Dear Dr. Yael
We had a great marriage. I want to stay with her and raise our children.
Building Happiness Is Hard Work
Many couples benefit from premarital counseling to increase the chances of avoiding issues during the marriage.
The Imago Theory
For instance, if a woman had a very warm and loving father and then marries a warm and loving husband, she may continue to have a positive imago and enjoy an excellent relationship with her husband.
Should My Spouse Tell Me Every Time He Does Something Nice For Me?
Question: My husband is always telling me the wonderful things he’s done to make me happy. If he makes the bed, makes calls on my behalf, works hard in the office, I hear about it. The other day he had to take care of a health insurance issue and he made sure to tell me that it took over two hours and three phone calls, in case I thought it went smoothly. I don’t constantly tally up what I do for him and I find it childish that he does. My friends tell me that their husbands don’t do this – so, why does mine?
Controlling The Uncontrollable Child
Humor is also a great tool to use. If your daughter says no when you ask her to do something, smile and say, “Oh, is it opposite day? I guess this means that you will do it with pleasure. Thank you, my beautiful mitzvah girl.”
Part 15 – Signs of a Controlling Personality
Here are some of the ways to know whether you are in a controlling relationship:
Dear Dr. Yael
Positive thinking has wonderful effects on your mind as well as your body. It lowers stress levels, which in turn affects every part of your being.
Men Vs. Women: A Response
What I find to be most objectionable however, is your statement, People today believe, (especially wives) if I make money that means I’m equal to a man. Bless your heart.
Ferberizing
We always hear from well meaning people to read Dr. Gerber and to FERBERIZE him, but this method just doesn’t seem appropriate for us.
Marital Roles (Fourth Of Five Parts)
Although in my past columns I’ve discussed the importance of inviting differences into life in order to grow through seeing other perspectives, there is a good reason to limit discussion of your differences when it comes to making decisions. There are very few decisions in life worth fighting for.
I Refuse To Get Engaged
You were happily dating when suddenly Covid-19 changed the game and forced you to prematurely think about timelines and wedding dates.
Encouraging Without Pushing
Dear Dr. Respler:
I recently lost my husband of 51 years, and I am very depressed. He was a true talmid chacham and a loving husband. Every morning when he was well, he went to shul early. He never missed a minyan and he learned every day. All his life he ran a business and, baruch Hashem, he worked hard and took excellent care of our children and me. I look at my grandsons and my grandsons-in-law and they don’t hold a candle to my husband. Even the children who learn in kollel are not as careful as my husband was about being on time for minyan.
Everyone seems too busy for me, and I feel very lonely.
Dear Dr. Yael
Hashem gives us a refuah; how dare we not use it?
Part 1 – The Secret To A Happy Marriage
Are you looking for emotional first aid for your marriage? If you are, you’re not alone.
Today engaged couples, newlyweds and couples who have been married for years, are feeling insecure about their relationships and looking for advice on how to make their marriages work better or simply to heal their relationship wounds.
Dear Dr. Yael
Dear Dr. Yael:
As a husband and longtime admirer of your column, I respectfully submit that your answer to A Sleep-Deprived Wife (The Magazine, 12-23-2011) missed the mark. Your response begins as follows:
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