Dear Dating Coach,
I have a good friend who went out with the same girl twice and really did not connect with her. He told me after the date, that he did not have a good time because he really “didn’t get her.” For the past few weeks, a cousin I am very close to, has been suggesting that I go out with this same girl. I keep telling my cousin that I am not interested because of my friend’s bad experience. But my cousin keeps pushing and pushing. She keeps saying that she thinks we are “perfect” for each other. I trust my cousin, but my friend was so negative – I’m just not feeling like this is a good idea. What do you think?
Nope, Not Today
Dear Nope,
I bought a large bag of jelly beans. My family opened the bag one evening and was shocked to find that we had been sold a defective batch. There were absolutely no orange jelly beans. They tried to figure out how this could have happened. Perhaps a factory defect? Does the store have an orange bias? Have orange jelly beans been discontinued? They were stumped. Not me though. I knew exactly where the orange jelly beans were hiding. I ate them. I ate them all. It was me! No regrets. Thankfully, my husband was assured that the red ones had been spared my jelly bean caper, and my children were happy to eat the yellow and blue ones. No one ate the purple jelly beans though. If you want them, come on by.
My Favorite Color…
Dating can be a confusing time. While a resume can be helpful, hearing a first-hand account of a guy or girl is extremely helpful as you research if someone is an appropriate match. Someone who knows the person well, or even someone who has previously dated a girl or guy can be a great resource in learning about a potential match. However, a real understanding of a prospective date can also lack objective and may contain personal bias. Perhaps they had a negative experience with said person, or simply did not connect. Maybe they did not like them as a teenager, or maybe they “just don’t see it.”
Is Jelly Beans.
So, while we trust the word of those who have met a potential match, we must still keep an open mind and disregard any prejudice that will not affect you. Sure, your friend did not connect to this girl. This certainly does not mean that all her future dates will not connect with her as well. As they say, there is a “lid for every pot” leaving a broad range of personalities and characters that appeal to different people. Not everyone is sophisticated enough to appreciate the “uniqueness” of the orange jelly bean. Different flavors attract different tastes and that is literally the purpose of dating; to find the flavor that suits you best. We are thankful that not everyone agrees on a flavor, or we would have a very difficult time finding the person we are meant to marry. Give this girl a chance. She might be your “orange,” which would make you a very lucky man.
