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4) Are you overly critical of her?

I am not blaming you for the issues in your marriage. It is difficult to ascertain why your wife is seeking soap operas and novels to fill her time rather than exerting greater effort into building a better marriage. It is possible that her addiction began prior to your marriage and that her obsessions have nothing to do with your relationship.

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Please discuss this problem openly with your wife. Also, seek professional help from a frum therapist along with a rav’s guidance. Your problem, one of great magnitude, must not be taken lightly. Perhaps your wife does not realize how destructive her obsession might be to your future. She may be able to hide it from your young children now, but as the children grow up they will surely become influenced by her actions. Your wife needs guidance in order to realize that her actions are unhealthy – for her and her family.

Create more romance in your marriage by taking short vacations, even if it is only one night in a local hotel. And compliment your wife and supply her with plenty of emotional love.

I wish you much hatzlachah in dealing with your challenging situation!


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Dr. Yael Respler is a psychotherapist in private practice who provides marital, dating and family counseling. Dr. Respler also deals with problems relating to marital intimacy. Letters may be emailed to [email protected]. To schedule an appointment, please call 917-751-4887. Dr. Orit Respler-Herman, a child psychologist, co-authors this column and is now in private practice providing complete pychological evaluations as well as child and adolescent therapy. She can be reached at 917-679-1612. Previous columns can be viewed at www.jewishpress.com and archives of Dr. Respler’s radio shows can be found at www.dryaelrespler.com.