Your wife is likely not happy with herself and the way in which she behaves. The first, and most difficult step, is for your wife to admit that she has a problem. Then, hopefully with the right professional help, you can save your marriage, your sanity and your precious children’s neshamas!
It may be prudent to get your wife to join you in seeking professional help by telling her that you want to make your marriage better. You do not want to put her on the defensive by saying that she has anger issues and thus needs professional help. Tell her that you love her and your family and you want to make your home a happier place. Explain that you are not sure what needs to be done and would thus appreciate her joining you in speaking with a professional. Speak with the therapist beforehand and explain what is going on so he or she will understand the situation.
Hatzlocha in taking the initiative to change the atmosphere in your home and I hope you are able to find a professional who can help your wife learn how to communicate more effectively!