Dear Dr. Yael,
I am basically a happy individual. Baruch Hashem, I feel blessed to have a wonderfully caring husband and three terrific children. However, at times, I find it quite difficult to understand my friends’ and family’s opinions. Although we often share many similar ideas, I am stunned when discovering how different we sometimes think. I understand that Hashem created each of us as unique individuals. So I wonder if you can help me expand my comprehension of different opinions because this may help me avoid frustration and arguments in the future.
Anonymous
Dear Anonymous,
Thank you for your letter. I want to compliment you on your desire to open your mind to different viewpoints. By simply being willing to attempt to comprehend other perspectives, you are actually taking the first step on the path to improving relationships of all types. Can you imagine how significantly this can improve all of our lives?
Do you recall how fragmented Am Yisrael was during the numerous months of rallies over the judicial reform? It was heartbreaking when some friends and families actually severed relationships, no longer talking to each other, simply because they had different opinions in this one area. Yet after the October 7th massacre, Israelis as well as Jews globally, suddenly found numerous ways to unite. Many immediately joined the IDF even if they were abroad, others donated funds to worthy causes such as providing chayalim with much needed equipment, and still others established new methods of creatively providing chesed to the shockingly homeless, sudden orphans and numerous traumatized sufferers. Suddenly, friends and relatives who had totally severed relations began talking to each other and helping each other once again.
Then the ‘Triple Tragedy’ occurred. It can be eye-opening to explore a variety of points of view about this recent tragic situation. Many people were shocked that the IDF chayalim could actually kill Israeli hostages. When they discovered that these three hostages actually held up white surrender flags, they were confused and horrified. Others even participated in a rally, blaming the soldiers. In sharp contrast, one of the mothers of these three hostages had a completely different attitude. She said she loves the IDF soldiers and only blames Hamas. Interestingly, a mom of a different group of IDF chayalim explained that the IDF should not be blamed because a similar incident occurred previously with Hamas holding up white flags simply to ambush the IDF. All of these viewpoints may be valid, yet how insightful to now be able to comprehend the different perspectives.
Imagine the tremendous improved relations that can occur if we truly attempt to open our minds to divergent mindsets. What joyous improved business work attitudes, more satisfying friendships and cohesive family interactions could result. Are you willing to work towards understanding other viewpoints in order to benefit in so many ways? Here’s an idea. Why not begin a journal about experiences when you are able to listen to another viewpoint and begin to understand their different way of thinking? By reviewing journal entries in the future, it may enable you to become increasingly more empathetic with co-workers, friends and family members. By understanding or at least being willing to listen to each other’s different opinions, it can help us continue the beautiful achdus that Am Yisrael has achieved recently and strive for it to continue.
Hatzlacha in your journey towards continuing to be more open-minded and in this merit, may Hashem bring the ultimate Geulah!
