Dear Dr. Yael,
I am dealing with a serious disease that challenges my life every moment. I am trying to do my best in the face of my challenges. The people around me are baruch Hashem great. Everyone tries to help me. I have a loving and devoted husband, amazing children-in-law, children and grandchildren. I know that I must focus on my blessings that Hashem gave me. However, it is so challenging to need others to help you. I want to be independent and not be a burden to others. Please advise.
Dear Reader,
We are all facing challenges. I know this does not minimize yours. However, if you look around you, then you will realize that everyone you know is struggling with difficult issues. If you think someone else has it easy, you probably don’t know them or do not know what they are struggling with. We are in Galut. Look at what is happening in the world. Israel is struggling with horrific terrorism. Innocent civilians, men, women and children are being murdered senselessly by savage terrorists. Everyday we hear of more tragedies and most people are dealing with their own tragedies that many do not even know about. People are destitute, lonely, and tragically without help.
Baruch Hashem you have a devoted husband, caring children and grandchildren. Although it is challenging to depend on others, you must be grateful that you are not alone and there are others around who care about you. This is a huge bracha (blessing). I am not telling you this to say that you should not complain. You are entitled to complain when you are struggling, but it may help you to focus on the good that you have in your life. Research shows that focusing on gratitude brings happiness. Gratitude can help people feel more positive emotions, such as optimism and appreciation. Gratitude can also improve people’s health by calming people’s nervous system, which can lower blood pressure, heart rate, and breathing. It has also been shown to help people have stronger relationships, better mental health, and higher self-esteem. Writing down or thinking about what you are grateful for also can help people decrease worry.
There are many ways to express gratitude. People feel and express gratitude in different ways. People can retrieve positive memories from the past and be thankful for things from childhood or past brachos. Other individuals may focus on the present, being grateful for good things as they come. Some others may choose to focus on the future and maintain a hopeful and optimistic attitude. Each of these will help make a person feel happier and doing all of them will increase happiness even more. Please try and focus on past brachos as well as present brachos, and be hopeful about the future. With the help of Hashem, your life will be good and you will have a refuah shelaima. Hatzlacha!
