I cannot tell you how many children and in-law children are pained by seemingly “helpful” remarks. Our children have a lot on their plates and even if they do things differently or have not lost all of their baby weight, there are more important things to focus one.
Constructive criticism is an oxymoron; criticism is essentially destructive. When we criticize someone, we damage their self-esteem to some extent. So try to be positive with other people. A compliment can go a long way – you cannot imagine how many people’s lives you can change just by complimenting them.
Imagine: You compliment a woman who then goes home to her children in a good mood. Those children are then better behaved because they feel better about themselves and that leads to more positive reinforcement from their mother and an overall happier home. I know this may sound like an exaggeration, but these types of situations happen every day.
Sadly, the opposite can be true as well. Would you want to be the cause of a negative spiral? I should hope not. Think before you speak and try to point out the good in others. The next time you see someone who has gained weight, find something to compliment him/her on instead.
Hatzlocha!
