Dear Dr. Respler,
As an avid reader of your largely insightful column, I was troubled by one of the letters which appeared recently that in effect unilaterally excoriated the use of the Internet. Those few students in my literature classes who, over the years, have elected to myopically view the Internet as simply a tool to compromise the integrity of religious observance, rather than embrace it as a unique apparatus designed to facilitate the improvement of academic essay writing and navigate the terrain of literary research, have confronted tedious challenges their tech-savvy classmates had been spared.
Let me be clear, my charges are all frum students in Touro College’s Machon L’Paranasah. They are yeshiva graduates and of chassidic origin; they simply have taken advantage of technology that will eventually allow them to compete in corporate America. More importantly, it has not lessened their zeal to continually ponder Talmudic thought and implement its findings.
It is, respectfully, intellectually disingenuous to suggest that technology is “…killing our community…” Painfully and frustratingly aware of the two-edged sword the Internet poses, it is, assuredly, up to the parents who, in their objective to pass along their spiritual legacy to their progeny, must be cognizant of the fact that secular education must include the latest that technical innovation has to offer. The tech-messiahs of whom you refer may “clearly agree with the rabbanim,” but I also believe that the spiritual and secular can indeed coexist.
Parents need to be more diligent in inculcating their sons and daughters how toxic haphazard usage of the Internet can be. At the same time, for those parents who want their offshoots to successfully meet the demands and challenges of the world marketplace need to take understand how helpful the Internet is; its a device that offers the entire landscape of knowledge at our fingertips.
With respect,
R. N. G., Professor at Touro College and University
Dear R.N.G.:
Thank you for taking the time out of your busy schedule to write this important letter.
I am well aware of all the advantages of the Internet and do not believe that there is nothing positive to be found online. The original debate was about the use of cell phones and continued with a letter from a woman who felt her family was addicted to technology.
You are correct that it is up to parents to inculcate their sons and daughters about the toxicity of the Internet. However, what is to be done when the parents themselves are addicted and incapable of setting limits and boundaries?
Certainly in a perfect world, we would all use the Internet only for appropriate matters. Unfortunately, our world is not a perfect one and I and other therapists have seen a whole host of addictions affecting families in our community.
It takes only one click to reach an inappropriate website and be exposed to material that can have serious consequences for marital relationships and healthy views of women.
In essence, there are no clear answers. It seems that the world you live in is one in which students are able to utilize the Internet in appropriate ways. I, on the other hand, live in a world filled with addictions and marital problems that fifteen years ago our community never faced. And it can all be laid at the feet of the technological advances society seems to celebrate.
The issue is incredibly complicated. Our rabbanim don’t experience the “good” the Internet provides; they deal with the broken families and teens who have walked off the derech because of it. Once upon a time, a person who wanted to be unfaithful or a young person who wanted to view inappropriate material did not have an easy time finding outlets. Today, however, the Internet and social media have given us all access to thousands of strangers with whom relationships can be developed. In addition, social media has given us the belief that we have so many friends, superficial relationships to be sure, but for some an easy outlet for inappropriate behavior.
The ability to talk to anyone, anywhere, while amazing in one way, can also be very dangerous. Texting and using Snapchat (where the texts and images are only seen temporarily and cannot be saved) make having inappropriate conversations much easier and much more accessible. People often say things via text that they would never say to someone face to face. I wish I could just publish columns that focus on all the amazing things the Internet has to offer. However, that is not possible.
Thank you for helping to highlight the benefits of the Internet and for helping me explain the issues more clearly. I hope that parents take appropriate steps to safeguard their children so they can become 21st century learners and be successful in this new world!
Hatzlocha!