Dear Readers,
I am dedicating following column to my friends Judge Martin and Fran Shulman, and specifically to their special daughter Meira, a”h. May we know no more sorrow and may they be consoled by Hashem.
Below is the hesped the Honorable Judge Shulman said in memory of his daughter, Meira.
Rabbi Aaron Goldsheider, in an essay, described the profound loss of a child. He refers the reader to the story of Jacob our forefather. When his sons returned from Egypt after acquiring provisions during a famine, without their brother, Simon, Jacob referred to himself as a shakul, a unique Hebrew word for a parent who loses a child. For many years, Jacob mourned the loss of his beloved son, Joseph, believing he was murdered. Now, he was afraid he would be losing another child. Earlier in the biblical narrative, Jacob, upon hearing of the death of Joseph, tears his garment, a sign of mourning that has been incorporated as a Jewish custom for millennia. Our rabbis teach us that this act symbolizes a permanent tear in one’s heart. The narrative goes on. Yaakov refused to be comforted believing he would never get over this loss for the rest of his life. As Rabbi Goldsheider noted, the loss of a child causes a lingering pain and the tear in a parent’s heart is permanent. I stand here before you, a shakul, truly inconsolable.
Another thought comes to mind. We see the world with our eyes, It is through the pupil, that darkness surrounded by white, that we can see the goodness of people and be inspired by their values and outlook to improve our own lives.
Meira in Hebrew means giving light and our beautiful Meira was a light so bright, who during her young life, managed to chase away the darkness of her challenges to inspire her family, friends and community.
She was a smart, happy child who was popular in school with many friends. When she was 11, Meira was diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes and at 18 began suffering the terrible effects of this disease. Nonetheless, she kept her dark challenges private and projected positivity to the world with her beautiful smile and warm and engaging personality.
Meira was fiercely independent and despite suffering from the disabilities of her illness always strove not to be a burden on her family and friends. She was a thoughtful person who exemplified good values, always engaging in acts of kindness to others and putting the needs of others first. When interacting with a family member, friend or neighbor, Meira made that person the center of her attention. She was a great listener who always knew what to say. Meira also had an intelligent sense of humor and her sharp wit always kept her family and friends laughing.
For quite a number of years, I became very involved in her care. This enabled us to share invaluable time together. Besides the events in our lives, we often found ourselves discussing the cases I presided over as a trial judge and in recent years, my work as an appellate judge. I would use her as a sounding board because she was extremely insightful and gave me much food for thought.
Meira was an amazing daughter, sister and aunt and inspired me in so many ways. Let me share just one example which captures her goodness.
During her recent hospitalization, she was required to be NPO, a medical acronym which means she was unable to eat or drink. Meira was a foodie and an accomplished cook. So, this medical directive was not easy for her. Yet, in the hospital room, she insisted on planning and arranging the delivery of meals for me and made a point of getting the particular food items I enjoyed. She inspired me with her small acts of faith. With each sip of water with her oral medication, she would recite the appropriate blessing out loud. She asked me to bless her on Friday nights and we would recite the Shema, one of Judaism’s most famous prayers, together.
Meira loved me fiercely and I am shakul, inconsolable. But, I will take comfort in our memories together. I know she is no longer suffering and in a prominent place in heaven. I also know she will be a heavenly advocate for her family, her friends, her community and Jews the world over. I loved my Moochki so very much. May her memory be a blessing. Dear Readers. A great book that helps people dealing with grief “Grieving and Healing: a Bereaved Parents Spiritual Journey Beyond Pain and Grief” by Baruch Cohen.
