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You are fortunate to have a special marriage in which you and your husband are able to anticipate each other’s needs. This is beautiful and rare. What you may not realize, though, is that at some point in your relationship you probably asked each other for things. If you give your children the opportunity to learn how to better assist both of you, you will be giving them a great gift since people grow and learn by giving of themselves. Additionally, you will be permitting them to earn credit for responding to your “commands” – which, as your daughter pointed out, is a bigger mitzvah than simply serving you on their own. Hatzlachah!


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Dr. Yael Respler is a psychotherapist in private practice who provides marital, dating and family counseling. Dr. Respler also deals with problems relating to marital intimacy. Letters may be emailed to [email protected]. To schedule an appointment, please call 917-751-4887. Dr. Orit Respler-Herman, a child psychologist, co-authors this column and is now in private practice providing complete pychological evaluations as well as child and adolescent therapy. She can be reached at 917-679-1612. Previous columns can be viewed at www.jewishpress.com and archives of Dr. Respler’s radio shows can be found at www.dryaelrespler.com.