Dear Dating Coach,
I am an artistic guy and I love a new project. I like traveling a lot, so I tend to jump from job to job because my trips can take me away for weeks at a time. I am not a 9-5er, and I never will be. Yet, even though I am a good guy; smart, fun, adventurous, and happy to commit to the right girl, I have trouble getting dates. I keep hearing the same thing again and again. “Girls want guys with a stable job.” I cover my bills and I don’t take money from anyone! Shouldn’t that be enough? Just because I am not a conventional, boring type of job guy, I am still a catch! But I keep getting turned down… what can I do to change this?
Adventurous Artist
Dear Adventurist,
I can lift my luggage off of the carousel. I can carry the bags of groceries into my house. I can take out the garbage. I can make my own money. I can barbecue. I can shlep, weed, and carry sleeping children from a car. Women today are more than capable. We are strong, independent, and educated. We can take care of ourselves. Yet, I am always grateful when a gentleman offers to lift my carry-on into the overhead bin. Just because we can – doesn’t mean we want to, need to, or should. Hashem designed men and women with intention and purpose. Why we feel the need to usurp gender roles is still an anomaly to me. Can a woman do anything? Sure. Does it make her weaker when she allows a man to assume his role? Absolutely not. It makes her smart, powerful, and female.
A Real Woman Can Do It All…
Woman are looking for a “man.” This is more than a gender – it’s character. Women want someone they can rely on, emotionally, physically, and yes, monetarily. This does not mean a woman can’t have a better paying job than her spouse. It means that she wants a spouse who is stable, dependable, and trustworthy. It means she wants someone who is steady, who will be there for her, and who she can see as a father for their children, G-d willing. Perhaps, it is not the need for a 9-5 job, but rather a need for consistency. Your Peter Pan lifestyle doesn’t inspire trust and commitment. Take the time to revaluate what you are running away from, and become someone that others can rely on. This is what women are looking for; an unwavering partner and someone they can respect.
A Real Man, Won’t Let Her.
This does not mean your days of traveling are over. It just means that you need perspective. Save up your vacation days like the other responsible adults. Set times for travel that allows you to keep a job, and you will see that women will be more inclined to get to know you. Be a man. And you will be able to find the right woman for you.
