When I think of divorce and all its ramifications, a feeling of sadness washes over me. More then any other decision between two people, divorce rips at one’s inner soul and leaves lasting devastation in its path. That is why when a couple decides to divorce they should seriously consider mediation, as opposed to litigation. Mediation softens the blow and can lead to rational decision-making in a more amicable, friendly environment. It allows the couple, in spite of their differences, to think things through together, rather than with the bitterness of a boxing match with each party standing on opposite sides of the ring. It further allows both parties to hold onto their dignity without airing their grievances in open court.
Moreover, mediation makes more sense financially. One does not need to engage the services of two attorneys, and can use that money on a much lower scale for a friendlier, less costly and less adversarial divorce process. If children are involved, it is even more important to keep a grounded attitude, in spite of serious disputes. The ultimate goal, although divorcing and going their separate ways, is for the couple to at least remain loving parents to their kids and a civil relationship with each other, something that rarely happens through litigation.
Mediators are there to guide you through your divorce process in an amicable friendly type atmosphere. The mediator does not represent either individual; he or she remains neutral and has both parties’ interests at heart, as opposed to litigation where an attorney advocates for his or her client. Here, husband and wife, are, essentially, representing themselves, as pro-se litigants, without a confrontational court setting. Both parties sit in a room with the mediator and all the issues involved in any divorce proceeding are dealt with. We navigate custody, support, finances and equitable distribution in a more efficient, less time consuming manner.
There is no retainer and payment is made at the end of each session. On average each couple will have between 4-6 sessions with a week to ten days between sessions. When all the sessions are completed, and there is a resolution, an agreement is drawn up.
After a review of the agreement by both parties in another session, known as the “review session,” each party takes a draft home to review again. Changes are made if necessary.
When the final agreement is final, the Judgment for Divorce and Conclusions of Law needs to be prepared for court. Both parties come back to sign and initial. The papers are then filed and it takes about 4-6 months for a judge to sign off and they are officially divorced.
It is said, “Life is not about waiting for the rain to pass, it is about learning how to dance in the rain.” Mediation allows the couple to be on the same wavelength and to dance through the divorce without getting soaked emotionally and financially. Basically, it’s a lesson in weathering the storm.
Mediation is clearly the best way to resolve your differences amicably so that you can both obtain the best possible outcome in a divorce settlement. Furthermore, it allows for a therapeutic alternative to litigation.
In my opinion, it’s the only sane way to get divorced. You will be able to move forward sooner and faster and gone is the added stress of the constant trips to court and untold legal fees. With mediation, you will benefit from a positive, emotionally healthy and mutually beneficial approach that will pay dividends long term – peace and harmony. Of course, there is sadness and disappointment even through mediation, but the outcome does not have to be an endless amount of time spent in the courtroom.
For a free 30 minute consultation contact win-windivorcesolutions.com or call 855-both-win.
