Q: My daughter was diagnosed with dyslexia three years ago. Since then, she has been working with reading specialists and has really started reading at the level of most of her classmates. Of course, she works twice as hard as they do, but she is finally up to grade level. But, she just seems so unhappy academically. Is there something I can do to make her schoolwork more enjoyable?
A: By its nature, schoolwork is not necessarily enjoyable – we give students artificial goals (do well on standardized tests, memorize spelling words, etc.) and expect them to meet those goals. For children who do not have a learning disability (LD), these goals are not so hard to reach and therefore mainstream students often thrive in regular classrooms. However, for children like your daughter with dyslexia, these goals in and of themselves can be very difficult. And, to top it all off, they are being forced upon your daughter by her school and teachers!
So, what can you do to help make school more enjoyable? First, talk to your daughter about her passions. Maybe she really enjoys using her hands – painting, sewing, or gardening. Whatever her passion, get her as much information on it as possible.
For example, let’s focus on painting. Before you could buy paints in the store, painters were amateur scientists – mixing different chemicals in order to get the desired color. Take out some books from the library and some mixing bowls and help her measure the different colors. Not only will this make reading more interesting, it will also reinforce her math skills when she plays with the different quantities.
Next, help her set a goal that is challenging and exciting for her. Maybe she would like to learn how to paint like the old masters. Alternatively, she might be interested in creating an art gallery of her work. Regardless of the project, make sure that it is challenging and that it fits her passion.
But how does this all connect to her schoolwork, you might ask? The first thing you can do is show her how her passion is really connected to academics. In order to be a great painter, she needs to understand shapes and geometry. She also needs to be able to read about the art movements that came before her in order to build on their significance.
Aside from the ways that her goal can be linked academically, this will also help your daughter gain self-esteem. As opposed to constantly feeling that she is struggling to do the same work her classmates easily do, she will feel triumphant. This will give her a boost of confidence that will infuse all that she does.
How can you help and support your child with LD to achieve goals?
- Pay attention to effort. Compliment your child when you see she is trying – not just when she reaches her goal. This will encourage her to continue to work in the future.
- Do not reward her. Aside from praise, do not reward her for reaching her goals. Her goals are her own – and reaching them should be her reward. If she chose what she wants to work towards, she will be thrilled when she completes the task.
- Teach her to compliment herself. When your daughter succeeds, ask her, “How did you do that?” Through explaining what she did right, she will understand that she is a highly capable person.
