- How does change make you feel?
(a) Paralyzed and fearful.
(b) Hesitant, but excited for the future.
(c) Hopeful and encouraged.
- When you hear bad news, what do you do?
(a) Eat lots of junk food to make yourself feel better.
(b) Speak to a friend.
(c) Try to find the positive in the situation.
- What happens when you think of all the changes you would like to make in your life?
(a) You focus on all the times you tried and failed to change.
(b) You focus on something, but never seem to get very far.
(c) You picture exactly what you would like to happen, figure out an action plan, and start the ball rolling.
- When you decide to make a major change, such as switching careers or ending a friendship, what is the first thing you do?
(a) List all the reasons why you’ll probably fail.
(b) Feel overwhelmed, but look for books and websites that might help.
(c) Talk to other people who have gone through the same thing.
- What would your friends say about you and change?
(a) You avoid change at all costs.
(b) You try to accept change as it comes, but generally don’t seek it out.
(c) You can handle any change that comes your way and are not afraid to initiate changes in your life.
- What do you do when you feel paralyzed and uncertain during a time of change?
(a) Sleep. A lot.
(b) Do some exercise, it gets you moving.
(c) Write a to-do list or listen to motivating music.
Do you ever feel stuck? Unable to change even if you desperately want to? Change is definitely hard, but there are a few tips that can help you make big changes, even with small steps. In his book, The Happiness Hypothesis, Jonathan Haidt explains that our brains are split into two: an emotional side and a rational side. Haidt compares these two sides to an elephant and a rider. Our rational side, or rider, knows that we want to stop eating because we are full or want to get up early to be better prepared for the day. On the other hand, our emotional side, or elephant, likes the way the food makes us feel and wants to stay cuddled under warm covers on a dark morning. There is also an upside to the elephant – as the emotional seat of the brain, it also houses love, compassion, and loyalty. The elephant is the part of your brain that instinctively protects your kids and helps you stand up for yourself. Conversely, there is a downside to the rider. The rider overanalyzes everything and “spins his wheels” refusing to make a decision until all elements are weighed.
The metaphor continues: the rider holds the reins and directs the elephant. But, this doesn’t always go smoothly because the elephant is so large and powerful and the rider is so small in comparison.
In order to effect change, you need both the elephant and the rider to work together. You need planning and direction (the rider) and energy and passion (the elephant). Often, when change efforts fail on the individual level, it is the elephant’s fault, as it chooses short-term gratification over long-term gains.
In their book, Switch: How to Change Things When Change is Hard, Chip and Dan Heath give a three-step framework they believe can help everyone, from individuals to organizations, more easily effect change.