Years ago, a divorced friend complained incessantly about her ex-husband who was vying for more time with their children. He was a mainstream upstanding and respected man in his community. They were both observant Jews with kosher homes and equally healthy environments for the children to live in. It is certainly sad that their marriage did not work out as they had both planned, but here was a man who still wished to be a father to his children. I helped her to realize how fortunate her children really were. Her children will never have to wonder whether or not their father really loved them since he put in the effort and was dedicated to being there for the long haul. Thankfully, there are parents like him who can put their personal concerns and the emotional baggage aside and allow their relationships with their children to grow and flourish.
Yet, there are parents, believe it or not, who make the conscious choice to play only a minor role in their children’s lives, convincing themselves that when their children hit adulthood they will seamlessly slip right back in and pick up where they left off; it rarely works out that way. Experiences shared, and challenges overcome are the building blocks of any good relationship. Parenting takes hard work and dedication and can be successfully done whether or not the marriage stays intact.
Parenting is a lifelong responsibility; it takes dedication, hard work and putting personal desires aside. It is unfortunate that there are parents who simply choose to take the easy way out. With this generation’s need for instant gratification, coupled with the age of social networking, there seems to be endless opportunities to “find,” “friend,” “like,” “share” or “comment” with anyone about anything, and to figure out “what’s up” even with your own children; but I have yet to find a way to actually be a “parent” at the click of a button or the stroke of some keys.