Time for failure. If our children fail, we often jump in to solve the problem. “You failed your driving test? Let’s call the DMV right now and schedule a new test for tomorrow. We can pay the extra fee in order to make the test earlier.”
“You got a 70 on your math test because you didn’t study? Let’s get you a tutor so that you can study the next time.”
“Your friend was mean to you? I’m going to call her mother. It’s not okay to act like that when you are in high school.”
Of course, our natural instinct is to save our children, but they need to gain the skills that come along with success. They need to problem solve and come up with their own solutions.
Chores. This one is an easy one: chores build a work ethic! We need to give our children responsibility in order to teach them to be responsible as they get older. Aside from all the regular things that your children should do for themselves (put their laundry in the hamper, clear their plate from the table, etc.), your children should take on age-appropriate chores: setting the table, folding laundry, and unloading the dishwasher.
In her introduction, Lythcott-Haims asks an important question, “Why did parenting change from preparing our kids for life to protecting them from life, which means they’re not prepared to live life on their own?” We need to help prepare our kids for life. That is our job as parents after all.