Mr. Funny Guy – A Poem About ADHD
Oh Mr. Funny Guy how you love to joke,
Make a silly face or give a little poke.
Try to make us laugh, distract us from our work,
We find you funny with that twisted smirk.
Call out, stand up, squirm around,
The teacher doesn’t like it when you fall on the ground.
Make a body noise or lean back in your chair,
You tell that girl she has ugly looking hair.
Your name goes on the board or she moves your seat,
So many classroom rules for you to try and meet.
Try try try but you’re in trouble does she say,
It looks like another no recess day.
Hold it all in and pretend that you don’t care,
But deep down it starts to hurts in there.
Oh Mr. Funny Guy when will you ever learn,
School is not made for boys that need to squirm.
Sit still. Don’t talk. Read your assigned book,
Stop it. Give him back that pencil that you took.
On Mr. Funny Guy you find school so lame,
Your body’s here but your mind is on that video game.
Concentrate. Focus. Not another D.
Turn yourself around. It’s a choice you see.
We know you can do it and that you’re smart,
Come on boy and start to do your part!
IEP or a 504,
These are things we give you to make school less of a chore.
The time is now and we’ve got your back,
We will do what it takes to try keep you on track.
Tutor. Counselor. The doctor too,
Sometimes it’s hard to keep up with you.
Oh Mr. funny Guy you are so fun,
Just learn to manage it and you’ll be the successful one.
– Dr. Jim Forgan
Recently, New York Times investigative reporter Alan Schwartz wrote about an emerging diagnosis, “Sluggish Cognitive Tempo (SCT).” But people have been arguing for the past few decades about whether this diagnosis should exist at all. If you research what Sluggish Cognitive Tempo is, you will come across lots of controversial pieces of writing, but ultimately, here is what scientists and psychologists have to say:
Falls into the category of attention disorders such as Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD).
Is similar to the “inattentive” category of ADHD in the lack of focus on detail, reluctance to perform tasks that require serious mental effort, and a tendency to lose objects.
Is different from the “inattentive” form of ADHD in fundamental ways:
Prone to daydreaming
Difficulty staying awake in boring situations
Easily confused
Easily bored
Lethargic or more tired than others
Slow moving or “slow-thinking”
Is SCT real?
For: SCT was first talked about in the 1980’s and has continued to be discussed in the thirty years since then. The Journal of Abnormal Child Psychology recently devoted over 100 pages of its January issue to the study of Sluggish Cognitive Tempo. One of the authors in the journal posited that at this point there can be no doubt that SCT exists.
Against: Dr. Allen Frances, professor emeritus at Duke University, picked up on Schwartz’s reporting (and was quoted in his article) and came out strongly against the diagnosis. He writes, “’Sluggish Cognitive Tempo’ is a remarkably silly name for an even sillier proposal. Its main characteristics are vaguely described but include some combination of daydreaming, lethargy and slow mental processing. Its proponents estimate that SCT afflicts approximately two million children.” Dr. Allen Frances asserts that this diagnosis is simply a way for pharmaceutical companies to make money on a new disorder.
Which is it?
While it is currently impossible to prove that SCT either exists or does not exist, it is possible to argue that perhaps both sides have some validity. Maybe Sluggish Cognitive Tempo is different from ADHD in fundamental ways and needs to be treated accordingly, or maybe SCT is simply an alternate form of ADHD. Or, perhaps SCT is something we all have at one point or another and do not need to medicate at all.
ADHD: what’s the diagnosis?
It’s probably easier to understand how sluggish cognitive tempo is related to ADHD through an explanation of the different diagnoses of ADHD. Up until 1994, ADHD was known as Attentive Deficit Disorder or ADHD. In 1994, it was broken down into three separate subtypes with specific characteristics.
ADHD is defined as a problem with inattentiveness, over-activity, impulsivity, or a combination of the three.
Inattention symptoms:
Fails to give close attention to details or makes careless mistakes in schoolwork
Difficulty sustaining attention in tasks or play
Does not seem to listen when spoken to directly
Does not follow through on instructions and fails to finish schoolwork, chores, or duties in the workplace
Difficulty organizing tasks and activities
Avoids or dislikes tasks that require sustained mental effort (such as schoolwork)
Often loses toys, assignments, pencils, books, or tools needed for tasks or activities
Easily distracted
Often forgetful in daily activities
Hyperactivity symptoms:
Fidgets with hands or feet or squirms in seat
Leaves seat when remaining seated is expected
Runs about or climbs in inappropriate situations
Difficulty playing quietly
Often “on the go,” acts as if “driven by a motor,” talks excessively
Impulsivity symptoms:
Blurts out answers before questions have been completed
Difficulty waiting turn
Sluggish Cognitive Tempo is most closely related to ADHD, dealing with inattentiveness. Right now, SCT isn’t considered a disorder in the official psychological diagnostic manual. Will it one day be included? Perhaps. Is it something to look out for in order to help your child fulfill his potential? Absolutely. If your child needs help focusing, there are many things you can do to help him succeed.
