Often, I write columns discussing academics, or book smarts, but today in light of recent events in our community, I thought I would talk about teaching our children how to be street smart. Even though we generally live in safe areas with wholesome people, unfortunately, there are people with ulterior motives who share our neighborhood.
What are street smarts?
People who are street smart have common sense and an awareness of what is going on in the world around them. Street smarts consist of practical knowledge, rather than hypothetical knowledge. Often, street smarts refer to the ability to handle modern, urban life.
Children and Street Smarts
Street smarts go hand-in-hand with social skills and are just as essential for living a full and productive life. In reality, we are not born with street smarts or social skills. Some children pick up on social cues from birth, while others need to be taught these skills explicitly. How can we educate our children in order to keep them safe on the streets? Below, I have included some tips for parents and educators to help instill these integral skills:
Pick out “safe spots.” If your child is old enough to walk on the street alone, pick out different spots on his route that are designated as “safe.” Some safe spots might be: grandparents’ house, the library, police stations, the firehouse, familiar stores and restaurants, or friends’ houses. Teach your child to use those safe spots if he feels that he is in danger.
Travel in groups. When your child begins to travel on the street alone, the best way to start slow is to ensure that he is walking or biking with friends. Predators are less likely to prey on groups of children, whereas a child walking alone is an easier target.
No short cuts. If your child is used to his route to and from school, tell him he is not allowed to take any shortcuts through parking lots or alleyways. He should stay on heavily populated streets that are familiar and well lit. Talk about the areas of your neighborhood that are safer than others and do test-runs with him to ensure that he learns the route.
Check in. The adult who takes care of the child needs to know where he is at all times. To that end, children should tell their parents exactly where they are going and at exactly what time they will get there and return. This way, children learn to be aware and responsible for their comings and goings.
Avoid speaking to strangers. In some extenuating circumstances, speaking to strangers is necessary, so teach your child how to choose which “safer” stranger. Explain that he should go into a store, stop a woman with children, or find a police officer if he must speak to a stranger. Understanding that there are safe and unsafe adults will not only make life less scary, but will also give him the tools to select wisely if he must ask a question of a stranger.
Never get in a car with a stranger. While it is sometimes necessary to speak to a stranger, it is never okay for your child to get in a car with someone he doesn’t know. But, that’s not all. If a stranger asks a child to look in his car, put his arm in the window to take something, or come closer to see something being offered, teach your child to run in the other direction towards the nearest safe spot. Tell your child that even if the stranger knows his name, he should still get away as quickly as possible. In the worst-case scenario, your child will end up seeming rude, but he will ultimately be safe.
Adults and Street Smarts
Of course, our utmost concern is for our child’s safety, but there are many other reasons why being socially intelligent can be beneficial. After all, the distinction between books smarts (intelligence) and street smarts (wisdom) grows wider every day. If you are intelligent, you know a lot of facts because you have read them in books or studied them in courses. On the other hand, if you are street smart, you have taken your experiences and applied them to others areas of your life. While you lack factual knowledge, you have a plethora of practical knowledge.
Recently, I had a woman come to my office with a fantastic academic resume. She had several advanced degrees from wonderful institutions, but she could not find a job. She thought that perhaps she needed coaching for interviews. After going through her resume, she and I discovered that she had no indication of her work experience. In these harder economic times, employers are not simply looking for education; they are also looking for hands-on experience. Once we placed a greater emphasis on her previous jobs, companies finally started returning her calls.
Social Skills and Street Smarts
Throughout my career, I have been working with children and adults to help them gain social skills to better interact with those around them. We work on introducing ourselves, making eye contact, and listening skills. For adults, social skills and street smarts often go hand-in-hand. The way to make a great first impression is through exemplary social skills and the knowledge of how to act in different social situations.
For children, street smarts often entail “negative” social skills. Instead of politely answering questions, we tell our children to walk away. Instead of quietly saying “no,” we tell our children to scream and yell. Regardless, street smarts are another skill that we must teach our children, even if they aren’t skills we value in our ordinary lives. Our reality demands that every child not only knows how to say “yes, please” and “thank you,” but also knows how to scream “NO” at the top of their lungs.
