Put your old notions behind you, Joe. Make up your mind to do everything in your power to get yourself to that chuppah, with the right woman, who may be your own age, and might even have children for you to love as well. Get the word out. Tell everyone you know that this Joe is ready to march down the aisle! Take all offers. Maybe someone who’s not your cup of tea might have a cousin or a friend.
Go to one shadchan or shadchanit. They specialize in making matches. Who knows, maybe your bashert, your soul mate, is in their card file.
Try those on-line dating services. You say they’re hokey, but lots of people have found their spouses that way. And while you’re online you can Google oodles of dating advice. There are plenty of Jewish sites with whole archives of dating/relationship advice.
You say you’re stuck psychologically – make an appointment with a counselor or life coach. I’m not saying you need years on the therapist’s couch, but a little counseling could do a world of wonders. There are specialists who deal specifically with singles who want to get married but are in a rut.
Get out of the rut, Joe. Create a mind-set that says you are ready to marry. Spruce up your apartment. Get a good haircut. Think about what your life will really be like when you are married to a good woman. Yes, you’ll lose some independence, but think of the wonderful world of interdependence with someone who loves you and cares for you. Visualize yourself already married, happy, and smiling.
You can do it!
I’m waiting for your invitation.
Yours truly,
Michal