The News Critic
Part One: Exactly One Year Ago
Coming out of my morning slumber, through the slightly-open bedroom door, I heard Hubby’s booming voice. Worried that he was giving our caregiver, Violet, a hard-time, I crawled out of bed to face a new day.
“That’s all we need” My brain is talking to myself again. Are there actually two of me now?
Peeking out the door, I find Hubby, 93 years young, sitting at the dining table drinking his coffee, eating his six gingersnaps, and staring at the weekend edition of the newspaper. “What’s going on?” I ask. Violet is nowhere in sight. She comes to join us and I ask “Is Hubby giving you problems?” She looks surprised and responds “No, why?”
Hubby resumes reading the headlines with glee, He finds them hysterical and has to share them with us. He reads with such aplomb, like Sir Laurence Olivier on the English Stage. He is focused on the front page. For each headline, there is a commentary, a sarcastic remark at the stupidity of the text. “Cheap Political Games Will Bring More Death.” he finds this quite absurd.
“Israel’s social contract is in need of repair” He declares.
“Of course, we should be nicer to each other!” He responds sarcastically.
“Israelis spending half the day on screens” He reads with emphasis.
“This is not news!” – he proclaims. He has no clue which screens are being referred to. He actually read the word “screens” as “secrets.” He is laughing, quite full of himself. He is now reading about a phone number in the paper – if you should want to buy a ticket to attend a particular event.
“No one wants to buy!” He proclaims this with great certainty.
A scornful comment and a pontifical conclusion follow the declaiming of each headline.
“How do you get rid of a reporter who writes these?” He asks. I have no clue how to respond. It doesn’t matter. This is not a conversation. This, is a performance – requiring nothing from me.
I find myself laughing out loud. Hubby does not go on to read the articles, just the titles. And yet, he is actually right. Much of the news is not really new or even news-worthy. Much of it is absurd and even more is political posturing. Much of what ends up on the front page is opinion.
When Hubby was reading me the newspaper when the news was full of the United States’ election updates – focusing on the war zone which Washington DC had become prior to inauguration day 2021, Hubby had lots of opinions.
“It’s just like the East End!” He proclaimed. He is talking about the East End of London, not New York.
“They have no class!” He was referring to the American politicians and the current situation…and the impeachment of President Trump, He wasn’t wrong. I did not bother to inquire who he was specifically referring to. To have asked him would have confused him. When I ask follow up questions to begin a “conversation” it upsets him. He cannot remember what he was referring to in the last statement. It does not really matter.
When Hubby calms down, having shared each headline with his audience (me), he begins to read the content. He seems lost in the text. He re-reads the article over and over. He does not retain the content. Eventually, his eyes will close and he will take a nap sitting fully upright. The reading of the text will become soporific for him, as it can sometimes be for us all.
The newspaper is actually a great friend. It does not matter what it contains – although he would not consider reading yesterday’s paper as it has old news! It waits for him each morning and provides untold entertainment when the rest of the world is fast-asleep. He feels it connects him to the world outside. He has no desire to leave the house, even on a beautiful day. Home is safe and cozy. Outside holds uncertainty and risk. Today is cold and rainy and I feel much the same. Between the weather and the Covid-19 lockdown, there is little reason to venture outside.
There are times that the headlines are frightening to Hubby. He mixes up one headline with another and then warns me it is not safe to venture outside because people are killing each other. The snippets of different articles merge into one and it is almost impossible to explain that some of the events took place in other countries, or have been resolved by the police or the army.
The one headline Hubby would take seriously would be “War Is Declared!” He remembers the years of wartime from his childhood, even though he may not remember an appointment we attended a few hours ago.
In general, Hubby is a critic, and finds the news to be rather absurd. Sometimes his conclusions are not far from the truth, although I have no idea how he arrived there in the end!
Part Two, March 2022
War HAS been declared! Russia has entered the Ukraine and millions of people are fleeing for their lives. Innocents are being killed. The world watches on, doing very little.
Hubby is still reading the headlines every day. When he read that the Russians were about to invade the Ukraine, he said that we needed to prepare to evacuate. I explained that the Ukraine is very far away. Hubby asked where we live. “Is Jerusalem in Ukraine?” He no longer has any concept of where countries are in relation to one another and it is a continuing source of confusion and fear for him.
For me it was another poignant reminder of the almost 50 years that Hubby and I have been together and traveled to hot spots around the globe. He and I actually were in the Ukraine, in Kiev, and in Babi Yar, when the Ukraine was still a part of the Soviet Union (before it split apart.) At the time it was “the evil empire” controlled by the KGB. We have terrific stories of how we managed to avoid the KGB on that trip and Hubby used to share the stories with anyone willing to sit still for an hour or two.
The KGB was the epitome of Mr. Putin who was its powerful director, creating fear in the hearts of the Russians. Now not much has changed except that his power has multiplied as has the pain which he is imposing. It is sad for me that those very special moments no longer are in Hubby’s library. The library is now closed.
As I watched the women and children fleeing the bombing while their men went to war in the Ukraine, I could not help but think of the families caring for loved ones there with dementia. It must be an additional hell for them to make a choice to either stay behind or take their family member away from their home, a home which may very possibly be bombed by the Russians in the days to come. At the end of the day, we do not have a choice as to whether or not we will get dementia. We also do not have a choice about wars perpetrated upon peace loving peoples. Our only option is survival. How much harder that must be when caring for a loved one with this condition! I will never again complain about taking care of Hubby. My heart is with the Ukrainian people fleeing the conflict. I cannot begin to imagine how I would survive a war with Hubby’s condition as part of the equation. Everything in life needs to be re-assessed in times such as these. Indeed, as difficult as the moment may seem, it is always possible for it to be worse. Russia has proven that to the rest of the world.
