Both Ben and Miriam have grown closer to Torah and mitzvot while in the army. It has forced them to take time out of the day that they don’t have for learning, davening and other mitzvot. Both of them have worked hard to grow religiously, and it has not been easy. They are both in units with very few religious soldiers and commanders. The two of them say, “According to Michtav M’Eliyahu, the harder you work for Torah and mitzvot, the more attached you become to them. We can both attest to the truth of this teaching.”
What challenges do they face as a married couple in the army? Miriam answers, “More than not seeing each other often, I would say our most difficult challenge is not knowing when we will see each other next. The uncertainty is particularly difficult. It has taught us not to expect or plan anything and to have emunah that everything is from Hashem.
Neither of them regrets their decision to be in the IDF. However, it may have been better for Ben to have joined a hesder program which would have given him more of a religious framework, religious friends, more Torah learning and less time in active army service.
Two former lone soldiers who came to our home fairly often are Yaakov Cheskes from California and Ari Friedman, who was born and raised in Staten Island and later moved to San Diego. After their army stint they both moved to Jerusalem. They work part-time and learn in Machon Meir.
Yaakov was raised Reform, but towards the end of high school he discovered Yiddishkeit and throughout college progressively increased his observance of mitzvot. In his junior year of college he came to Israel to study at Hebrew University. “Being in the Holy land forced me to confront the halachic issue of yeshuv ha’Aretz in-depth for the first time. Ultimately, I concluded that the consensus of Jewish opinion is that it is a mitzvah to live in our Land, and perhaps even obligatory.”
Was Yaakov apprehensive about serving in the IDF? “I remember that what I was most worried about was my lack of fluency in Hebrew. People generally have apprehension towards the unknown – I felt like I was going to be thrust into a forest with only moonlight to be able to navigate my way.”
Having made aliyah at the age of 22, Yaakov was not obligated to serve the standard three years. He served a total of six months in the army, becoming a kashrut supervisor after completing the Hebrew ulpan.
When asked what he would change about the army he said, “I hope that it’s obvious to observant Jewry that the compliance of our people with halacha is directly related to our success and prosperity. Any meaningful changes that I could suggest would be with the goal of making the IDF that much more compliant with Torah.”
“The highlight of my entire service was the first Shabbat I spent on base during boot camp,” relates Yaakov. “After weeks and weeks of drudgery, I didn’t know what to expect for Shabbat. The army takes away a measure of one’s dignity during training in order to condition soldiers to serve properly. They are forced to do all kinds of inane tasks and reprimanded for not adhering to the most trivial regulations.
“What I was unaware of was that the army returns this dignity to us temporarily in honor of Shabbat. I had been concerned if there would be any spiritual atmosphere there at all, but it turned out to be extremely uplifting. The best part, however, was seeing how this energy was affecting the other soldiers, especially the ones who were not observant at that time. Jews who had almost no background in Judaism or who had gone away from Judaism came to Kabbalat Shabbat. One soldier, who had been totally non-religious, decided afterwards that he would like to put on tefillin for the first time. I was honored to be able to help him. To me, it was seeing the unfolding of the Geula.”
