As some of you know, my wife passed away in the summer of 2023 and I remarried about a year later.
Here’s how that shidduch came about.
After being a widower for about three months, some men that I knew pretty well suggested a couple of ladies who were widowed for a couple of years. I knew the ladies, as they also wintered in West Palm Beach. I told the suggesters that I wasn’t ready. I really wasn’t. But I also didn’t feel any would be a good match. I knew their husbands from our Florida winter shul.
I was surprised that the ladies were interested in me as they lived in big houses in the New York area, had tall husbands who did well financially and who were also more learned. I came up short in all departments.
Three months later, in March of 2024, another West Palm Beach shul friend sat down next to me at the kiddush Shabbos morning after most of the foodies left. “As you know,” he said, “I live in the Country Place section of Lakewood and my neighbor would be good for you. Both my wife and I like her as she’s easy-going, has a good sense of humor and is the person many widows in the neighborhood rely on when a favor is needed.”
My friend’s wife was waiting in the hall and the three of us headed home together. I asked Mrs. Friend about their neighbor in Lakewood. “You should meet,” she suggested. I asked for some details on the available lady.
“She’s about your age and she wears flats,” Mrs. Friend said. “Does that mean she’s very tall?” I asked. “Not very tall, but I’d consider her tall for a woman,” Mrs. Friend answered.
“I don’t mind looking up if she doesn’t mind looking down,” I answered. Some six weeks later I found myself looking up at her for the first time, while she was looking down at me. Both of us didn’t show any sign of disappointment and we sat down at comfortable chairs in the Lakewood lobby that I suggested we meet at.
We interviewed each other for about two hours and agreed to meet again. Tzippy suggested the Lakewood Barnes & Noble coffee shop where they have tables for two. I immediately agreed as I love to check out magazine racks. I’m not the kind who goes through pages before I buy. If I touch it, I buy it. I tried to reach a magazine on the very top shelf, but came up short. Tzippy said, “I’ll get it for you.” I wasn’t embarrassed and neither was she.
We decided to continue to see each other. I told her on the third meeting that I’m going out not to just go out but I feel we’d make a great team. However, I wanted to wait to tie the knot until my grandson finished saying kaddish for his grandmother (my first wife). It was a short wait and we had a beautiful wedding in the Country Place clubhouse, attended by a large delegation from my Detroit side and her side.
I moved into her small Lakewood ranch house where we are living happily, Baruch Hashem. I love to be with her family, well-known in Lakewood for learning and donating. We spend many a Shabbos with them. Tzippy also blended in easily with my side often going to my grandson and his family in Jackson. We drove to Detroit for Yom Kippur and Succos last September and hope to make the ten-plus hour, three-stop drive again for Pesach.
So, my shidduch advice to you is be open as the second time around can work out well no matter how old you are. Even if you’re 83, wrinkled and somewhat saggy like we are.
