Anger is one of those things that no one likes to experience. It has the potential to destroy lives, relationships, reputations, careers… and it usually doesn’t have much upside to it, other than giving the person who’s angered an opportunity for momentary emotional release.
We know that Hashem is described as Erech Apayaim – being slow to anger. Does this mean that anger is good or bad? If Hashem gets angry, even slowly, where does that put us? Should we be even slower to anger? Or faster?
The Rambam consistently wrote about a need for emotional balance by saying that there is almost always a middle point between too much and too little of anything. One of the few exceptions that he quotes is anger; he wrote that displaying even a little anger is a terrible trait.
I remember reading about the Tzemach Tzedek, the fourth Lubavitcher Rebbe. His formula for containing his own anger was based on his guiding principle – he wouldn’t quote or do anything until he was certain it was approved by halacha. When he’d feel himself getting angry, he’d turn to his seforim to research whether or not he was allowed to be angry about whatever it was that had happened. By time he arrived at the conclusion, he was no longer angry.
