Shortly after our wedding, my husband started his first rabbinic position in a home for the aged. The seniors loved him…and kept on trying to set him up with their granddaughters (a compliment for sure, but we bought him a wedding band). He decided to grow a beard in an attempt to look older, more authoritative, and rabbinic.
I had a similar reckoning regarding my head covering choices – what would make me look more professional?
Fast forward 20 years, and we’re now wondering what will make us look more youthful. (I recently put on an outfit that I thought looked cool, and one of my children remarked that I looked Amish.) Our friends’ beards are flecked with gray. Many of our friends and peers are rabbis, with beards of various lengths but with a common depth of wisdom that inspires and amazes us. We no longer rely on these outward signs, like growing a beard, in the hope that others will treat us with respect; we’ve learned that respect is earned through action.
