It’s the most famous intellectual feud in Jewish history: The tension between the house of Hillel and the house of Shammai. These were not only two schools, but two schools of thought, with different approaches and worldviews. Hillel was thought to be more open-minded, with Shammai stricter. Hillel’s take often involved thinking about social norms, while Shammai took a more idealistic approach. In one example – the question of how to compliment an ugly bride – Beis Shammai says you can’t lie, even for a “you’re so gorgeous!” at the bedeken. Beis Hillel, on the other hand, says lying is acceptable in that scenario.
In almost all cases of such disputes, the halacha is that we hold by Beis Hillel. But why is this the case? Why does the more lenient opinion win the day?
Part of what we can learn from Beis Hillel is the value of meeting people where they are. As Hillel famously shows in his response to the man who asks for the Torah on one foot, we can connect with those who seek connection, even if it’s different from the norm. By adopting a vision of Judaism that recognizes human nature and social niceties, that knows when we need to just give a compliment, we can create a Judaism that’s never too far away from real life.
