The truth about the word “lazy” is that it is usually used in a lazy way. I hear it used by parents and educators way too often, saying that the child is not achieving because he or she is “lazy.”
It is an explanation of convenience when the adults in charge are more interested in blaming than in looking for a more accurate and helpful explanation for what is going on. The child who is called “lazy” may be depressed or have an attentional weakness, learning disability or just lack of confidence caused by painful treatment by peers, family or caregivers. Sometimes the explanation for what looks like “lazy” is a child who has shut down in the face of a parent’s ongoing criticism and anger. Such a child might seek out the security of self-soothing activities in an attempt to avoid parental pressure that might be so overwhelming that the child feels they cannot deal with it.
My advice for anyone who uses the word “lazy” is that it is best to reserve it for oneself. Do we ever know all that is going on inside another person? We do, however, have a fair picture of what is going on inside ourselves. We know when we could have made a better effort. We know when we have given in to the “lazy” inside ourselves and chosen the path of least resistance. Often the lazy comes out in ourselves when we unnecessarily and hurtfully vent anger, rather than having better self-possession and self-control. If we want less “lazy” in our world, let us model it, rather than going around demanding it.