Regret is a difficult word to write about. It implies vulnerability, and most people shy away from feeling vulnerable.
I think regret falls into two different categories: things I wish I’d done and things I wish I hadn’t. This can be a really dangerous emotional place to explore, because virtually every decision we make had an alternative, and there’s no viable way to evaluate the other possible outcome.
Does that mean we should never look at our past and only look forward? Not at all. The Viduy that we say throughout Yom Kippur encourages us to look back at poor choices and to regret them. It is the essence of teshuva.
The biggest challenge of articulating regret, however, lies in what happens after recognizing the poor choice. It could be quite easy to suffer tremendously from poor choices. One’s life could be completely different if not for that singular momentary decision. Gevalt!
The secret is to use that regret to strive for more. To learn from mistakes. To make sure that when confronted with a similar situation, the best path will be clear.
Regret doesn’t have to be negative. When harnessed with a growth mindset, it can be tremendously valuable. Use it to strengthen yourself and to have the utmost clarity in the future.
