She is now in her mid 50’s – and still single.
Sadly, when it comes to shidduchim, there is often a narcissistic mindset distorting perceptions of reality. “I am entitled to have this, this, and that” is the attitude with little or no insight as to what he or she is bringing to the table.
I remember driving with a real estate agent. He pointed out houses that had been on sale for several months. The longer they are on the market, he said, the less likely they will be sold – unless the owner greatly reduces the price – because people assume that there is a hidden flaw or problem with the property, even though it presents well. If no one grabbed it, perhaps there is a good reason and they are leery of “falling in.”
My friend’s son told his Skype date that rightly or wrongly, never-married singles who have been in the parsha for years have an orange (not yet red) flag waving above them. Why haven’t they gotten married? It can make one wonder how a supposed “catch” is still out there after years of dating.
Often the answer is because they haven’t met the right one. In many cases, the “to die for” chili has not yet been discovered – and they will not even consider anything less, even to their own detriment. Every first time date should be viewed as a networking opportunity. He/she might not be the right chili for you, but might be for a friend.
At the Cookout, I bypassed some booths because the chili looked too spicy, or the color was bland-looking, or it had certain beans that I don’t care for, but later on, I went back to
give them a try. One actually tasted the way it looked – bland – the others to my surprise were quite good. I realized I had let my expectations and what I perceived as being unacceptable influence my sampling and I could have missed out on some delicious choices.
Perhaps it is time to reassess the ingredients in your personal shidduch chili. After all, even the best cooks tweak their recipes. Some ingredients are modified or replaced. For example, fatty meats are substituted with leaner cuts, or sugar and salt are reduced to accommodate current consumers.
In the meantime, it will likely take a couple of weeks of working out to counter the effects of too much chili sampling. Who knew Texas chili would appeal to my Northern taste buds?
