And then I was often told, “This is the way it is. We just have to believe it.” Great. That’s a wonderful answer for someone who came from a sheltered background. But I hadn’t, and for me I needed answers, real answers.
As the ninth grade came to end, I was miserable. Tenth grade was a repeat of ninth, and by the end of my second year in high school, my frustration threatened to explode. I hated school. And thankfully, my parents realized that the school I was in was not for me – not if they wanted me to be a frum and happy girl.
Over the summer we discussed various options and explored other schools. My parents chose one specific school because they felt that it was frum and very open-minded. It was more relaxed and “chilled” then the Bais Yaakov type-school I was currently attending. The commute was over an hour each way, but it was well worth it.
Many of my classmates wondered about my decision to switch to a new school. The answer was actually quite simple: I was a frum girl. I was sincere, I davened carefully, I wanted to grow, and I wanted to do what was right. I just couldn’t do so if I was stuffed into a box I didn’t fit into. I wished that all high school would be more accepting and realize that “good girls” come in all shapes, sizes, and styles.
I thrived in the new school and relished in the feelings of acceptance. After twelfth grade, I attended a seminary in Israel and shortly after, I got married to Ari, a wonderful boy. He is also a bit “off the beaten track,” and shortly after our marriage we moved to a beautiful out-of-town community.
Fortunately, I did not let my feelings of being “stuffed into a box” to cause me to rebel, although I could have. Instead, I channeled those feelings in a positive direction. I realized that I did not have to break completely out of the box in order breath. All I needed was a few air holes!