Don’t you hate it when people tell you that you need therapy?
It’s a nice way of saying, “Hey girl, you know you are a little crazy, right?” Or a subtle way of saying, “Girl, you are so messed up you need to have your head unshrinked.”
It’s really annoying to have people tell you that there’s something wrong with you and stick their nose into your business. It’s bad enough when it’s a really good friend driving you nuts about it, it’s even worse when it’s your mother, father, teacher, or principal. Oh yeah, probably it’s the worst when it’s the next door neighbor or your older Miss Perfect Sister who is so good that a little gum in her hair would make the world a better place.
If you sneak a peek at the bottom of this article, you are going to read the little bio that tells you, among other things, that I am a therapist. I figured I should be totally upfront about this before you read this article, so just in case therapists totally make you nervous, you can stop reading now.
Hmm. Still reading? Got yourself some Tylenol to settle your queasiness about therapy so you can stomach the rest? Okay, don’t say I didn’t warn you.
This article is going to be about three things: How to know if you need therapy. How to find the right therapist. How therapy works. If there’s a fourth thing, I will let you know at the end. Hey, I said I was a therapist, not a mathematician!
Part I: How do I know if I need therapy?
(I was also a writing teacher in my old life, so I like stuff like Part I and Part II and so on. I’m just not a big fan of regent essays…)
The best way to know if you need therapy is if you are pretty miserable. I don’t mean the I-can’t-believe-I-got-a-pimple-on-the-day-of-my-best-friend’s-sister’s-wedding kind of miserable. I mean the type of miserable in which your whole life seems like one huge pimple sitting on the edge of your nose. That kind! It’s the kind of miserable that just doesn’t go away, even if you have some good days. Where even if you pretend you are fine and everyone thinks you are fine, you are so totally not. Maybe you can fool the world, but you can’t fool yourself.
Here are what we call warning signs that you are not okay: Feeling down or a loss of interest in stuff you used to enjoy. Weight gain or weight loss that is not proportionate to your age or development. Plunging grades oran obsession with perfect grades. Problems getting along with friends, teachers or parents. Engaging in activities or actions that you are deliberately keeping a secret from your family or friends. Feeling really anxious a lot of the time and unable to stop your worry or engaging in weird habits to try to control it. There’s lotsmore but you get my drift.
The other clue that you might need is if important people in your life are telling you that you need therapy. I believe you when you say that those people are really annoying, and totally don’t get you – and may even be the real reason you are having problems to begin with. Like your principal. Or your mother. Or your best friend who is changing on you. I believe you, I do.
Let me say that therapy is probably the best way to help you figure out how to deal with those annoying people in your life, so you can live the kind of stress-free life you deserve. And it’s very possible that once you get these people off your back, you’ll learn new ways of living with your parents, Miss Perfect Sister, and even your school, without everyone wanting to jump off the Empire State Building.