What Every Jewish Family Needs to Know About Hospice Care

As we approach Tisha B’Av, a day to reflect on loss, exile, grief, and the enduring strength of our people, I find myself thinking about personal loss and the sacred responsibility of how we care for one another in times of illness and approaching death.

At Calvary Hospital, my role is to help all patients and families – with a focus on Jewish patients and families – so they receive care that honors not only their medical needs, but also their faith, their traditions, their dignity, and their identity.

Calvary is a Catholic institution, yet since its inception in 1899, it has opened its doors to patients and families of every background, including Jewish families of every level of observance.

Meeting the needs of Jewish families is central to Calvary’s mission of caring, compassion, and non-abandonment. True care means seeing the whole person. For a Jewish patient, that may mean kosher food, Shabbos accommodations, a rabbinic conversation about difficult medical decisions, spiritual preparation, respect for family presence, and facilitation for proper kavod acharon including tahara and kevurah.

We know the infinite value of the sanctity of life and that providing comfort, supportive presence, and dignity to all are holy obligations. Hospice and palliative care, properly understood, do not hasten death. Their purpose is to relieve suffering, manage pain and symptoms, and allow patients and families to face the natural end of life with as much peace, clarity, and holiness – kedushah – as possible. At Calvary, we are obligated to care for one another until the natural end of life with compassion, patience, reverence, and love.

One of the most meaningful initiatives we have been privileged to help launch is a fund to assist Jewish families who cannot afford proper Jewish burial. No family should have to face the anguish of losing a loved one and then wonder whether they can provide burial in accordance with Jewish tradition. Kavod hameis – honoring the deceased – is among our most sacred communal responsibilities. It is an act of chesed shel emes, kindness that cannot be repaid. To date, we have helped more than 45 families.

Calvary’s care is available not only at its Bronx campus. Calvary also has a Brooklyn campus in Sunset Park, and provides care at home through Calvary Hospice (which is available throughout Greater New York) allowing Jewish families to receive expert hospice and palliative support in familiar surroundings, wherever appropriate. For many families, home is where a loved one feels most peaceful. For others, inpatient care is needed. In either setting, the goal is the same: to support and maintain the dignity of the patient and family in accordance with traditional Jewish law and each family’s own rabbinic guidance.

Although our community is diverse, the bedside reminds us of what binds us together. Illness humbles every family. Grief reaches every home. And the mitzvah to care for another human being with dignity belongs to all of us.

The message of Tisha B’Av doesn’t only teach us how to mourn; it also introduces us to the notion of consolation by imparting a message of how to rebuild. Rebuilding happens with every act of care, every visit, every prayer, every meal brought to a family, every hand held at the bedside, and every dignified burial provided to someone who could not afford it.

May we continue to uphold the dignity of every person, support every family, and care for one another with the compassion our tradition demands.