Word Prompt – RAV – Ruchama Feuerman

What is a rav? Someone who can yell at you, and you actually feel better afterward.

So, I was on my third date with a very recent BT. I liked him but saw he didn't know what to make of me: Was I some renegade, a good Bais Yakov girl, a heretic?

I said, “Why don’t you go out on other shidduchim. This way you’ll have a context to understand me."

He blinked, then said, “Isn’t that like Sarah bringing in Hagar?” As in, are you sure you want to do this?

I called an elderly rav for his advice.

A moment of shocked silence.

"You said what?" he squeaked, incredulous.

Then he said, "Don't you ever, ever do any such thing again! Why, that's foolishness!"

He was right. It was foolish. But instead of feeling stung and stupid, I felt the love and concern of a zeidy scolding his granddaughter, trying to protect and only wanting the best for her.

I did report back to the guy I'd changed my mind – my idea wasn't a good one. But he changed his mind, too, and there was no fourth date.