It’s important to remember that success should not come at the cost of your mental and emotional well-being. When stress becomes so overwhelming that it affects your sleep, happiness, and daily life, it’s a sign that something needs to change.
Doing something that she is good at can boost her self-esteem tremendously and provide her with an opportunity to make like-minded friends.
Parents should avoid discussing their child’s worries in front of him. Hearing about his own problems can often cause more anxiety and result in seeing his problems as larger than they are.
How can I communicate more effectively with someone who often gets defensive or seems focused mainly on himself?
When a guy doesn’t pick up a girl for a date, it steals some of that thoughtfulness from the date. It diminishes effort and energy. It robs the date of the romance it could have had. That’s a loss to both you and to him.
Dysgraphia is not simply a motor problem, but also involves information processing skills (transferring thoughts from the mind through the hand onto the paper).
Unfortunately, many people associate needing an emergency alert device with feeling old, weak, or vulnerable. In reality, the exact opposite is true.
You are not missing anything. Everything has been going smoothly because it can. You don’t need conflict or disagreement. You don’t need an issue to address or a problem to fix.
Your child’s fears are very real and should not be ignored. That would only make them grow. However, bedtime is not the time to address those fears in a genuine matter.
Her positivity, energy, and incredible enthusiasm shine brightly. She is truly a light for all of us to emulate.
Six months is definitely enough time for a man and a woman to decide if at the very least, they want to commit to one another. It is certainly enough time to see if they are compatible, if their personalities align, if they have the same life goals and values, and if they have chemistry.
When people feel unfulfilled or discontented with their jobs or their lives, they might turn to food to suppress those feelings. Food becomes a focus instead of the boredom or the discontentment.
It is important to remember that many teenagers experiment with smoking not because they are “bad kids,” but because they are curious, stressed, influenced by peers, or trying to feel more grown up.
You put in time and effort and forged an emotional connection. Unfortunately, he might have been right there alongside you, but he has not arrived at the same place.
It’s hard to believe that bullying can occur in our schools, but unfortunately, bullying is a widespread problem that affects children of all religions, races, and ethnicities.
For some people, being wrong doesn’t register as a simple, everyday human experience. To them, it feels like a personal exposure. Instead of thinking, “I made a mistake,” their internal reaction is closer to, “This says something bad about me.”
Make eye contact. This feels so simplistic, but I have noticed that in the fast-paced world we live in, we are often looking beyond or around the person we are talking to.
Temper tantrums are normal for toddlers, but once children are after kindergarten, we expect the number of tantrums to be significantly reduced.
Your brother is not your child. You can be kind, supportive, and welcoming, but you cannot take on the role of parent, therapist, or rescuer.
The beauty of dating is our ability to measure if a connection can be made. So much of this is done through research and information gleaned before we even meet. But the actual date allows us to see if the match made on paper can translate to chemistry and a lasting relationship.
Sometimes it is hard to name what you are feeling. Suddenly, you feel hot. You feel a bit of a burning session in your chest and on your neck. You can open a window to cool off, but you might not actually be addressing where that physical manifestation is coming from.
Your concern comes from a place of deep love and responsibility, which is admirable. At the same time, pushing too hard or framing this as “you’re wrong, I’m right” is likely to make your wife dig in further.
It is impossible to romanticize long-term learning without the financial component. The stress of not being able to cover your tuition bill, to make your car payment, or pay your rent, cannot be dismissed.
If confidence comes after action, what allows action to happen in the first place? The answer is self-trust.
The first step is for you and your husband to come together in complete alignment. This is his father, and it’s important that any communication comes from a place of unity, not tension between you.
It’s time to assemble a team. Mothers have the unique ability to manage many hats and their absence must often be filled by more than one person. Find the two women in your life who you trust, and who genuinely care about your well-being.
This is very common. Sometimes you are just not in a relationship mode (especially early on) between dates and your brain naturally shifts back to your regular life (routines, work, family, etc.) when you are not with him.
By Anonymous
But the truth was there, quietly, every time I walked in. Something still wasn’t stable. Then her body began to give out. A ruptured appendix. A bowel obstruction. Severe migraines that landed her back in the hospital. It felt like everything she had been holding in emotionally was now showing up physically.
Your children are not describing a small discomfort; they are describing a childhood that felt unsafe and unpredictable. When children grow up around anger and fear, especially when it includes being hit, their nervous systems carry that experience for years.
The incredible part of marrying someone and becoming a new entity, however, is the ability to build on the foundation your parents have given you, but with your own flavor and your own choices.
The fourth son is what I call totally parve – he has no association, no involvement, no relationship with his surroundings. Because a narcissist is only interested in himself.
By Anonymous
With a mix of relief and fear, I got into my car and drove home. I had already been driving for over four hours, and I still had the full trip back. I was exhausted. I felt like crying.
Very often, when one spouse is so focused on children, on work, on extended relationships, etc., it is not because the marriage is unimportant.
Date her. Find out about her. (Find out about her weight-loss journey.) See if you are suited for one another. See if you connect. And then make a decision with all the information that you have.
What does working with parenting look like? Kohn recommends collaboration over control, and love and reason over power.
By Anonymous
The paramedics were busy taking vitals, trying to get Chana to talk, trying to figure out what she took, when she took it, and how much she actually took. I didn’t know the answers to any of those questions. I stood there dumbstruck, watching everything unfold.
You are carrying several heavy emotional burdens at once... When all of that builds up, anger often becomes the emotion that surfaces.
Sure, he is not shorter than you, but you wanted someone taller. One more inch. That doesn’t seem so much to ask for.
If your child is having trouble with a friend or cannot figure out a math question, talk to him about the ways he can approach the problem. Ask him to suggest multiple paths to get to a plausible conclusion. This will give him confidence when he encounters a similar problem in the future.
Adolescence is when peers begin to take center stage. It’s not a rejection of family; it’s a necessary step toward identity formation. The fact that she coordinated with friends isn’t a statement against you, rather, it’s a statement for herself.
At some point, every single boy or girl who has dated longer than a year has heard the dreaded, “Maybe you are too picky.” from someone invested in their shidduch process.
Children who struggle with social skills are less likely to participate in class, less likely to ask important questions when they don’t understand something, and more likely to fall between the cracks.
By Anonymous
I would study her face when I dropped her off, searching for clues. Did she want to be there? Was she hopeful? Resentful? When I picked her up, I watched again. How had the day gone?
You also need to prepare yourself that you will feel anxious during the date, at least at first, and then tell yourself that you will be ok and will get through it.
Let yourself breathe. It’s OK to mute the engagement/vort/shower/baby chats. Allow yourself to skip an engagement party when it feels like too much.
Their difficulties manifest in different ways and have different consequences, yet the core of the issue is a lack of social skills that impede friendship and relationships.
It is okay for them to see you sad sometimes. However, it is not helpful for them to feel they must take care of you.
A resume allows you to offer clear, concise, and direct information to someone potentially interested in you. It allows you to control the narrative and the information direction that others take when someone suggests your name.
Some of these women have been agunot for years. They are trapped in a bizarre world where they are not single but not married.
Chanie hung her head but the damage was done. Her mother tried to pull things back on course by introducing a new game. The girls’ feeble response, however, signaled the party was all but over.
By Anonymous
You never really know what is happening behind closed doors. Knowing that, I was a bit disappointed with myself that I was even thinking all of this. I needed to reground myself and move forward.
When someone lives with insecurity, they often develop a heightened radar for disrespect. They may feel that if they don’t guard against being diminished, they will disappear.
Allow yourself to feel disappointed that dating has not gone as you had hoped. Forcing positivity and enthusiasm doesn’t work.
Our rational side, or rider, knows that we want to stop eating because we are full or get up early in order to be prepared for the day. On the other hand, our emotional side, or elephant, likes the way the food makes us feel and wants to stay cuddled under warm covers on a dark morning.
By Anonymous
Once you are eighteen, the services change. For an adult to be admitted to an inpatient facility, they need to be an active danger to themselves – or to others – because of their illness.
Getting drunk on Shabbos is not a mitzvah, not a minhag, and not harmless. While drinking a l’chaim has a place in Jewish life, drinking until one is intoxicated, especially when it interferes with davening, parenting, and basic derech eretz, undermines the very kedusha Shabbos is meant to bring.
I know that when we see potential, when we see beauty and possibilities, we tell ourselves that we can figure this out. We convince ourselves that we need to look beyond the logistics and the minutiae to focus on the bigger picture, and the chance for long-term happiness.
By Anonymous
I still believed that if I sat with her long enough, in the right way, she would open up. That I just hadn’t found the right approach yet. I know now that this was wishful thinking.
When we have watched one marriage unravel, especially that of our own child, the heart and amygdala become hyper-alert. What once might have registered as background noise now sounds like an alarm.
To your credit, you were not planning for this to happen. But you truly believe that this is something real and right and you have made a commitment to each other.
By Anonymous
Looking back, all I remember was thinking about how thirsty I was. Crazy, right? But I was so thirsty, and I remember seeing all of the water bottles that they kept in the back and I was too shy to ask for a drink.
Anxiety becomes something serious when your child is unable to function or takes an inordinate amount of time to perform normal every day activities.
Your husband’s parenting style is not just about kindness; it is about fear. He is afraid that if he sets limits, he will lose his children’s love.
There are inequitable and unfair judgments made by those with sons in the dating world. For reasons never fully understood, boys have an advantage in dating.
By Anonymous
Yes, it had been a bump in the road – bigger and higher than we expected – but we were past it. But that was not so true. Reality slapped me in the face so badly that I still feel the remains of the whiplash today.
Your parents were once the center of your world; however, now your husband is meant to become that center. This does not take your parents out of the picture. Having kibud av v’em (respect for your mother and father) is still very important, but your tafkid (job) is now to honor your husband.
I know you are coming from a good place. I know that you just want what your friends got. It’s not your fault that you live in an Instagram world filled with photo ops instead of memories. And I want you to have a special proposal. I really do. Just not the one you are picturing.
The Torah revolves around one simple but powerful precept - to not treat others in a way you wouldn’t want to be treated. The following poem offers insight as to why.
Do you live like that? Constantly imagining danger around the corner? Are you suffering from low-grade anxiety on a constant basis?
By Anonymous
Over time, I realized that my resentment of Chana stemmed from jealousy – jealousy that she had been given the space and permission to feel throughout her childhood. I had never sent a child to their room or shamed them for their feelings, so how could she get so sick in my house? What had I done wrong? Where had I failed her?
Help your daughter understand that this girl is not better than her; rather, she likely has low self-esteem and needs to hurt others to feel better.
You know that part of forging an authentic connection is sharing, but you are scared. Because, of course, it’s scary to share.
A lot of this unique and personal language that you develop with your child happens until around the time your child starts sixth or seventh grade.
By Anonymous
We go to a local café to decompress. I watch people walk by, absorbed in their own lives. And in that moment, I realize that I have become one of the other people.
It is important to understand that your compliments and reminders of all of your blessings will not cure your wife’s insecurities or comparisons. This is because insecurity is an internal struggle.
He is not changing. This is who he has been for a long time, and will likely be for the foreseeable future. Of course, we are all capable of growth, but he is who he is, and that will not be different in three weeks or three months.
By Anonymous
The conclusion is unavoidable. Home is no longer safe. She can’t be at school, and I cannot maintain twenty-four-hour surveillance – not with other children, a home, and a full caseload of clients.
Choosing to judge others favorably and to refrain from unnecessary conflict is not weakness; rather it is an avodah and reflects real inner work. In a world that rewards sharp words and quick comebacks, self-control requires strength.
You have been given a gift. You met a girl who seems perfect for you. You like everything about her and are considering an engagement. Your friend didn’t want to marry her. This is an even greater gift! She was clearly meant for you and not for him, and that was clear to him and we hope now to you as well.
By Anonymous
Her one big complaint was that she thought the therapist was reading too much into what she was sharing, but she was willing to keep going.
Your children are not saying, “Don’t be happy.” They are saying, “Please don’t forget.” It is important to name their fear out loud and remind them often that no one will ever replace their father.
Sometimes a person who does not have the emotional maturity and mentchlichkeit we expect of them will deflect and redirect so that they don’t need to be honest and transparent.
We are assured that ultimately, justice does prevail. That there is a Day of Judgement in the Eternal World. Those of unwavering faith focus on adjusting to their new normal and embrace Hashem's will and continue to find purpose and simcha, as we are exhorted to do.
By Anonymous
Chana was still social enough, there were still times when her room was filled with laughter, or, empty because she was out once again. And the other times she was in her room with the door closed I assumed she was just busy with her studies.
Hashem has someone amazing for you. Someone who will appreciate your warmth, middos, and stability. A true home is built on mutual respect, Torah, and shared values.
Even if the guy you are hoping for is so outdoorsy he fillets his own fish at restaurants, he is still going to be affected by your appearance.
By Anonymous
We got in the car to go home. She sat silently in the back seat as my husband and I tried to figure out how the kitchen and cooking were going to have to change. I silently snuck a glance at her as we drove down the highway. Her blank, emotionless face was periodically illuminated by the street lights as we drove.
The advantage of identifying this behavior, and labeling it is that the child can now get help. The disadvantage is that the label can become an excuse, a crutch which will then continue to allow this behavior rather than devise means of dealing with the challenge.
As parents, your first responsibility is to create emotional safety for your children. This may mean limiting visits to environments that are consistently stressful or damaging.
Green flags do not offer the same shock value as their red counterparts, but they are even more important.
Almost all anxiety is normal. It’s what you do with anxiety that makes it normal or not normal. In reality, everyone is going to become anxious about changes, new experiences, and risks, but the way different people deal with those anxieties is key.
We are a young couple with several children, and I come from a warm, loving home. My husband’s parents are divorced, and at times I see similarities between him and his father that worry me.
By Anonymous
In my mind, there’s a “before,” a “during,” and a hopeful “after.” Where are we now? I want to say we’re still in the “during.” Because there have been so many “befores” setbacks.
After three weeks, you should be sure that you are able to communicate well and have shared values and goals. You should have formed some level of connection and have an appreciation for their character and personality.
Once your child’s playdate arrives, don’t just leave the room. Instead, suggest some activities that will get things going. Taking out puzzles, musical instruments, or blocks are great ways to break the ice. Once the children begin to play together, take a backseat, but be available in case they need you.
The good news is that while we cannot remove technology from our homes entirely, we can create a healthier and more boundaried relationship with it.
Do you also notice those flaws? Do they bother you? If they do, why don’t you take steps to change them?
Be truthful even if it is painful. In such tenuous situations, children sense gaps in the story or can begin to mistrust their parents if they find out later that information has been concealed or distorted.
If someone grew up feeling inadequate, unseen, or unworthy of love, it can be difficult to internalize love and appreciation later in life.
