Are We There Yet?

Dear Dating Coach,

I am dating an amazing girl. Everything has been great, and I like everything about her. I know I want to marry her. But last night, when I brought up the future and told her how I felt, she told me she needs more time. I am OK with that. But my family is worried that I might get my heart broken. Is it fine to just wait this out, or am I making a big mistake? I would really appreciate any advice.

Proposal Ready

Dear Ready,

Life is basically one giant Waze. You put in your destination, and immediately Waze says, “Great! I found a route that saves 2 minutes.” Suddenly, you’re making three left turns, driving through a neighborhood you’ve never seen before, passing a goat farm, and questioning every life choice that brought you there. Meanwhile, the normal route, the one with actual roads and dignity, looks perfectly fine. But Waze insists, “Trust me.”

And sometimes we ignore Waze. We stay on the highway, take the longer route, stop for coffee, keep our sanity, and somehow… still arrive at the exact same destination. Maybe life is like that, too. Some people take the shortcut with seventeen unexpected detours. Some people take the scenic route. Everyone thinks their way is best. But in the end, the goal is getting where you’re meant to go… preferably without hearing, “Recalculating” every five minutes.

Going In the Wrong Direction…But Making Good Time!

Thank you for reaching out. You hit the jackpot. You met the person that you want to marry, but when you told her so, she wasn’t quite there yet. You believe that she will get there with time, but your family isn’t so sure. They want to protect you and don’t want you to get hurt. Now you wonder if there is a possibility that they could be right and you are taking a tremendous risk. One of the hardest parts of dating is that people rarely arrive at the same place at the same time. Sometimes one person feels ready for marriage while the other is still catching up emotionally, and that alone doesn’t mean something is wrong. The question isn’t only, “Why isn’t she ready yet?” The deeper question is: Does she feel good about where this is going and simply needs more time to get there? Or is there something underneath that’s making her hesitate because she’s not actually moving in the same direction? If she feels excited, secure, and sees a future, but just needs more time to feel ready, then patience can be part of the process. But if her hesitation comes from uncertainty about the relationship itself, then more time doesn’t necessarily create clarity. The goal isn’t to be ready on the same day; it’s to make sure you’re both walking toward the same destination.