A Decade Later – Remembering My Mother

I write these words as I approach my mother’s 10^th yahrzeit.

Many have asked me: What would your mother say? I know that her life speaks for her response.

How did my mother bear the burden of pain and suffering that weighed heavily on her shoulders?

If we could have a precious few moments together so that I could gain perspective and strength, what would my mother say?

Sometimes, life brings us to places that we never imagined possible. Here is what you must do, my mother would tell me. “When faced with darkness, you have a choice. You can either grow angry or depressed. Or you can light a candle and illuminate the darkness. Slovie, never sit in darkness. Always ask yourself, ‘How can I grow from this? How can I find purpose in the pain? It is not about lamah, ‘why’, but lemah, ‘for what reason’, am I going through this ache in my soul? Don’t agonize and say ‘Madua?’ Instead, the question is ‘Mah de’ah? What can I learn from this difficult experience?’”

My mother’s wisdom has sustained me throughout my life. And though it has been ten years since she has left this world, her legacy remains my spiritual lighthouse. I’d like to share with you three gifts (amongst the many) that my mother gave me. I carry these gifts with me in my heart. They embolden me as the world around us is filled with untold tragedies and fear.

Live with Passion and Meaning

I will never forget sitting front row in Madison Square Garden, November 18, 1973. There were thousands of Jews from every walk of life; some even sitting on the floor because there were no more seats. The room was pitch black. Suddenly the spotlight beamed brightly onto the stage. There, standing bravely was my mother. “You are a Jew,” she proclaimed with power and passion. That night was magical. At the end of the evening, thousands rose to their feet, danced, sang the words of Shema together. Their souls had been touched and changed forever.

Sometimes, I wondered and asked my mother, how did you, a child of Bergen-Belsen, ever think this was possible? How did you arrive to this country barely speaking English, and then speak to presidents and prime ministers, to the Israeli army, and across the world to the thousands upon thousands of people? How did you declare your faith and never feel afraid? How did you rise from the ashes and start a worldwide movement called Hineni to bring Jews back to their roots?

My mother arrived to America after suffering through the Holocaust, then saw a spiritual holocaust happening before her eyes. She dared not remain silent. She never lived a day without being cognizant of her responsibility to make a difference for her people. I believe that the words of Mordechai to Queen Esther constantly echoed in my mother’s mind. “Ki im hacharesh tacharishi – if you remain silent at a time like this, revach vehatzalah – the rescue of the Jewish nation will come from another place…and who knows? It might be for this moment that you were made queen!”

My mother believed that each of us has our unique life mission, our moment. One day we will all be asked, “What did you do with the life that you were given? How did you use your gifts to make this world a better place, to bring light to your people?”

We, too, must think about our personal responsibility in today’s world. A world filled with assimilation, antisemitism, and blood libels against our people. We cannot remain silent and apathetic.

Never Give Up on a Soul

My mother believed that within us all is a soul waiting to be ignited. I witnessed the awakening of countless neshamos that had remained dormant. She never saw one’s body, only the pintela yid that lay beneath.

The struggles of our people became my mother’s struggles. She channeled her own pain into feeling the pain of others. I recall my mother being ill, near the end of her life. I had told her about a terror attack in Israel and described the beautiful lives that had been taken. Tears rolled down my mother’s cheeks. The pain of Am Yisrael was greater than her own aches and agony.

Know Where You’ve Come From

My full name is Slova Channah. I was named for my bubby who was killed in the gas chambers of Auschwitz. Her last words on this earth were Shema Yisrael. One of the greatest gifts that we can give our children is solid roots. When we know where we come from, we know where we are going. This gives us strength and grit.

I always understood the privilege of carrying my name.

It is up to each one of us to bear witness, inspire our children and relay the greatness of our people.

Am Yisrael is counting on you.