A Mystical Approach to Understanding Infertility

Title: And Hashem Remembered Them

By: Rabbi Zave Chaim Rudman

Publisher: Mosaica Press

I was not really interested in reviewing this book. I had struggles with infertility between 2001 and 2007. In the process of doing fertility treatments, getting diagnosed, and losing many pregnancies, I explored many of the stories of our Matriarchs and wrote a book about it. The book I wrote is now twenty years old, and when this title showed up, quite a few people contacted me to say, “You should review this new book!”

Each time, I thought that everyone was assuming I’m a much more generous-minded person than I actually am. I saw no good coming from this in terms of my ego. Either I have addressed the topic well and adequately, in which case, if I don’t like how the topic is addressed, I will have thoughts about a fellow Torah learner that are unworthy and harmful to my soul. Or, more likely, there will be content that I wished I would have thought of or addressed, and I will be jealous (also harmful for my soul) and in pain from having dealt with the topic inadequately.

None of these are the thoughts of my best self, if I use Moshe Rabbeinu’s example. He is compared to a candle who shares light (knowledge) without his own light being diminished (Buber Edition Midrash Bamidbar 11:25). Moshe says, “Are you jealous for my sake? I wish that all Hashem’s people were prophets, that Hashem would put his spirit on them!” (Bamidbar 11:29).

I don’t remember what pushed me over the edge (probably yet one more good friend asking about it), but I finally requested to review the book, and I was told, “Are you sure? Rav Tzadok’s Torah is mystical kabbalah.” I had no idea who Rav Tzadok was or anything about his Torah. I responded, “Well, if you think it would be fun for people to read a review of someone who has no mystical bent, then it’s your call.” The book arrived shortly thereafter.

I would not call myself well-versed or especially interested in kabbalah. Before this book, my introduction to mysticism had been:

1) having a roommate in Israel who loved kabbalah and tried in vain to get me to understand Nefesh HaChaim.

2) Aryeh Kaplan’s Inner Space.

3) Rabbi Ian Bailey’s lovely book The Seven Ways, which discusses seven personality paradigms via the sefiros combinations of the counting of the Omer.

The subtitle of this book is “Understanding the Six Barren Women of Tanach,” and below the title are the words “Adapted From Sefer Pokeid Akarim of Rav Tzadok HaKohen.” I saved it for Rosh Hashana reading, which led to me reading a decent portion of it on Yom Kippur, too.

First, I would like to rave about the footnotes. I love them. I am a huge fan of the font size, how unobtrusive they are, and how they have the full Hebrew source of whatever pasuk, Gemara, or midrash the author references, or the original Hebrew of Rav Tzadok’s words. They perfectly enhance the text by providing the sources I am interested in seeing without me having to go hunt around and look up the words myself. I know I’m gushing about font selection, but it’s really tricky to have the full text of quotes conveniently on hand at the bottom of the page and still have them be legible and have them not overwhelm the main content of the book. I look up footnotes all the time, and this was fantastic, convenient, painless, and not distracting.

Regarding the footnote quotes containing Rav Tzadok’s original Hebrew, I did no more than glance at them occasionally because I had my hands full reading the English ideas for the first time. But certainly, people who are familiar with his Torah will be delighted to be able to see his original words right there on the spot and compare them with the English rendition and summary of the ideas. If I were to read this book more than once – and it certainly contains layers and layers of ideas – it is handy to have the original words right there to pore over.

I was very impressed with how approachable and readable the author made this book, considering the complexity of the topic. I discovered in writing this review that Rav Tzadok was born to a misnagdish family, so he was not completely kabbalistic, and was known for blending mysticism with rationalism. He is also “modern” and “psychological,” which is perhaps why I was able to understand some of his ideas.

The overall approach was very relatable and lucid, and also very exciting: seven barren women, seven approaches to unlocking and unblocking prayer. The seven women are Sarah, Rivkah, Rachel, Shimshon’s mother, Chanah, and the Ishah HaShunamis. He discusses in the addendum how Rav Tzadok leaves out Leah, who is in the midrash, and adds the Ishah HaShunamis. He also discusses the infertility of the husbands, and discusses Klal Yisrael, or Tzion, as the seventh barren woman. He has a long section about Amalek and how Amalek tries to close all the Gates of Remembrance that the barren women opened.

The book is extremely readable; I was surprised at how swiftly I read it and how easy it felt to read. It starts with an introduction to the sefiros; this I was familiar with, but I liked how he explained it. Eventually, I did hit many spots that were above my head and could not understand to the point of meaninglessness. However, along the way, I gained a lot of admiration for both Rav Tzadok and the author.

Not only did I get a taste of Rav Tzadok’s innovative approach, but I also laud the author's tremendous scholarship and the scope of the sources he quoted that were unfamiliar to me. I kept marking profound and fascinating sources to look at later and study more in depth. Over and over, I was impressed with connections the author made and sources that he brought. I am delighted with how many new Gemaras and midrashim he cited that were not part of my mainstream, yeshiva day school education.

Am I converted to mysticism? No. I was very drawn in by the creativity of the overall theme and found it compelling. Seven barren women and seven different aspects that needed to be unlocked; seven approaches for us to understand about being remembered and what that means. But I still feel that I barely understood the parts where he talked about bringing spiritual energy into the world – how that works or what he means. If something is not pragmatic or psychological or middos-improving, I find I can’t really understand it, and the lofty implications feel nebulous and do not enhance my avodas Hashem. However, I think that those who gravitate towards this type of Torah will find it extremely satisfying and exhilarating. 

The author is telling us about his life philosophy and how he has applied it. It’s a lot about recognizing opportunities or turning around bad situations so they become opportunities. He talks a lot about hard work, mistakes, and what he’s learned. He talks about luck and about catching the “good luck.” He talks about his family and his very difficult upbringing.

Although I personally incline to a more concrete approach, I am very glad to have been exposed to some of Rav Tzadok’s thinking. The author takes an utterly different, larger, broader, more universally grand approach than I did in my book, and I am humbled by his vision and originality. He explains “pekida,” being remembered, as seven stages being unlocked and applicable to all of Klal Yisrael in a way that is part of a grand historical plan to bring about ultimate redemption. I am full of admiration for the author’s skill in making these ideas so readable and so accessible.