Word Prompt – CHUTZPAH – Sarah Pachter

I recently interviewed Yona Elishis and Sarah Nissel, heads of JDAC, a chesed organization that helps couples that are divorcing to mediate, free of cost. What they have created is visionary. They noticed there is a gemach for everything in the Jewish world, but up until this point there was zero support for divorcees.

I interviewed them for an article entitled, “How to Divorce like a Mensch.”

Something that Yona mentioned really stuck with me, and holds true in any relationship. When a couple decides to divorce, it’s important that they both respect one another by not speaking lashon hara about the other. While it’s tempting to tell others the terrible things your spouse did to hurt you, that person is still the other parent of your children.

Diminishing your former spouse’s character in your children’s eyes will only diminish you in your children’s eyes. As hard as that reality may be, it’s the truth. More importantly, Yona suggested never speaking negatively about one’s ex to community members or friends. That’s critical to maintaining your entire family’s reputation.

Community members, friends, and even strangers may ask for the details of what took place. For every ten Jews, you might get 13 chutzpadik questions. But you don’t have to share information with anyone. It’s not their story to know, and it’s best for the health of your family as a whole to keep relationship details private.