I never heard the word rav growing up in Kentucky. The word I knew was simply rabbi. That was the title. That was the role. It took time, experience, and life itself to teach me that there’s a difference between Rebbe, Reb, Rebbetzin, or even Rebbe.
It wasn’t until my husband and I began building a real relationship with our shul’s rabbi that I began to understand the depth of the word rav. A rav isn’t just someone who gives a class or answers a technical halachic question. A rav is someone who knows you. Someone who understands your family, your personalities, your strengths, your struggles. Someone who guides not only your questions, but your direction.
With the arrival of children, this clarity sharpened. Suddenly, decisions weren’t theoretical. They were constant. Chinuch choices. Hashkafik questions. School decisions. Community matters. Parenting dilemmas. There are so many crossroads in building a Jewish home, and having a rav who can help you navigate them through the lens of daas Torah is not a luxury – it’s foundational.
What moves me most is that this value has been absorbed by our children.
When our daughter Aliza was younger, we once asked her why it was important to have a rav. Her answer was incredible – especially from the mouth of a child. “You need someone who can answer your questions, and you follow them. They won’t make a decision without having a reason from Torah and halacha. They will do what is right.”
From the mouth of a child – but with true clarity.