A Mentsch Tracht un G-t Lacht

Last week, I had a much-anticipated family wedding to attend. My cousins, Dr. Sharon and Eric Rosen, were marrying off a child, and, having already missed some of their weddings, I made a heroic effort to ensure that I would be able to attend. This meant that before the simcha, I would give a double daf one night for my international Daf Yomi Zoom shiur (see below) to free up the wedding night so I could attend the simcha. Unfortunately, even with the best-laid plans, at the last minute I was unable to attend.

When speaking in my shul that day between Mincha and Maariv, I commented that the world has a saying: “A mentsch tracht un G-t lacht – A man makes plans and G-d laughs.” I said at first that this saying doesn’t sit well with me. The idiom usually refers to when one’s anticipated hopes are frustrated and go unfulfilled. This, however, is not something that our merciful Hashem would laugh about. When reconsidering, I said that I believe what this popular saying is meant to convey is that we mistakenly believe that when we make plans, we are in control. That is what Hashem is laughing about, for, as the verse says, “Rabbos machashavos b’leiv ish, v’atzas Hashem hi sakum,” meaning that many are the plans, preparations, and strategies of man, but only what Hashem wants will be what endures.

It’s vitally important to note, however, that this doesn’t mean that we are powerless. To the contrary, we have a profound ability to influence our outcomes. This ability comes through the power of prayer. But we must master the art of arranging our prayers before we have trouble. The Gemara says, “L’olam yispallel adam she’lo yechele – A person should always pray not to become sick.” Unfortunately, most people are reactionary in their prayers. Only when they, G-d-forbid, get a terrible diagnosis or a terrible pain do they start to pray.

The Gemara in Masechtas Berachos also shares the vital verse, “Al zos yispallel kol chasid l’eis mitzo – Every pious person should pray toward the time of finding.” The Gemara then offers a variety of meanings for the word mitzo. It says that mitzo refers to a wife, as it says, “Matza ish, matza tov,” that one should pray in anticipation to merit a worthy mate. The Gemara continues that mitzo also refers to Torah success, as it says about Torah, “Ki chaim heim l’mozta’eihem.” Then, the Gemara caps it off by saying that mitzo even implies that one should pray that one’s death should be smooth, concluding that one should even pray, “Ad zibula batrisah chalma,” that the last clod of earth that goes upon their grave should happen peacefully. This drives home the message so poignantly about how much the successes in our life’s endeavors are determined by advanced, meaningful prayer.

I’d like to share with you an unbelievable story that I had years ago when I was on a speaking circuit in Boston. I went to speak in a certain yeshiva. The Rosh Yeshiva took me aside, saying he had a story to tell me. He recounted that 11 years before, his father, of blessed memory, had passed away. They took him to be buried on Har HaMenuchos, and on that particular day it was pouring rain. The son was very concerned as he rode in the hearse. His father’s body was only wrapped in shrouds, and he feared that, if the shrouds got soaked by the downpour, they could become translucent, and this would be a big disgrace for his father. However, when they arrived at the burial site and opened the back of the hearse to remove the deceased’s body, it suddenly stopped raining completely, and they concluded the burial under totally calm skies. Then, as soon as they returned to the hearse, the deluge began once again!

When the Rosh Yeshiva returned to the States, he and his family began cleaning out their father’s room. Among his possessions, they found hundreds of my cassette tapes. On the bed where the father had passed away, there was a cassette tape player with a tape inside. Curious, they rewound the tape to hear what the last thing their father had listened to was. Incredibly, in this recorded shiur, I was relating the Gemara that one should pray that even the last clod of earth on their grave should be peaceful and I gave as an example that it shouldn’t rain or snow as they are being buried!

It’s amazing that Hashem orchestrated for me to find out about this series of events so that I should be able to share with the world the vital importance of always praying in advance: Praying to have a safe trip in the car; praying to have a healthy heart; praying not to suffer from dementia; praying not to have problems with one’s marriage, and praying not to have bumps with one’s children or grandchildren.

In the merit of learning and practicing this skill of praying ahead, may Hashem bless us with long life, good health, and everything wonderful.

Transcribed and edited by Shelley Zeitlin.