יום חמישי, י״ז תמוז תשפ״וThursday, July 2, 2026
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Looking for an inspirational speaker or scholar in residence? Contact Rabbi Staum at 845-641-5094 or at rabbistaum@strivinghigher.com. Rabbi Dani Staum is a popular speaker, columnist and author. He is a rebbe in Heichal HaTorah in Teaneck, NJ., principal of Mesivta Orchos Yosher in Spring Valley, NY, and a member of the administration of Camp Dora Golding. His writings can be found at strivinghigher.com.
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Although the redemption happened over three thousand years ago, it has different meaning in every generation.
When I asked my class why we give shalach manos on Purim, one of my students replied, So that our friend gives us back!
In her mind, all of her ancestors are swaying with her and she hears Baruch Levine singing harmony as she recites the timeless prayer for her children to be scholars and illuminators of the world. And in the middle of the spiritual euphoria (if she is lucky enough to get so far) she feels a tug on her leg. Mommy, can I have apple juice? Mommy, it’s not fair…
In honor of Purim, we open up the archives and bring to you some of the classic sheilos rabbanim have been asked this year…
As Jews we understand that even after certain things become worn out, they maintain holiness, and must be disposed of properly.
How often in life do we think that if we only had that one more thing, then we would be truly happy and then we could really appreciate our blessings. It could be a new car, moving to a different neighborhood, having a little more money, a better boss, better employee, better behaved children, a shidduch, health, etc. That one missing commodity contains the key to our elusive happiness.
The one thing I can say about the flu is that it is very loving and friendly. I don’t know anyone/anything else that can tolerate being around me without a break for over two weeks.
It was a very sweet and thoughtful gesture, and, thankfully I still have my teeth and was able to enjoy the cake.
At the beginning of bentching we thank Hashem who sustains the entire world with goodness, grace, kindness and mercy. It’s something to think about.
Every morning and throughout the day my phone would buzz nonstop with holy Jews on these groups looking to contribute in any way they could.
One of my favorite moments was, when to the consternation of our cabdriver, someone honked him. He opened his window and screamed lamah (why) beep beep?
It's not enough to be motivated to accomplish; one has to be motivated enough that he is ready to deal with the inevitable challenges.
When I reflect on that amazing trip, our visit to Abayei and Rava was unquestionably the greatest highlight of all. Although at the time it didn’t seem so significant, when thinking back to it, it was an extremely emotional moment.
To answer the question, we need to look at the opposite end of the spectrum and ask if we Americans are too sensitive and wimpy.
Just as our ancestors didn’t want to hearken to the prophet’s message then, so do many of us not pay much attention to the words of the Prophets in our time.
Belief in Hashem does not exonerate one from personal responsibility. It does not give one license to say, ‘well this is what was supposed to happen, and it’s not my fault.’ In fact, the very opposite is true.
In our house we stopped serving leftovers. It just wasn’t worth the battle. So now when our children ask on Monday what’s for supper? the answer is Shabbos delicacies! True, the foods may be the same as what graced our Shabbos table, but they aren’t leftovers; now they are delicacies!
To be honest there were many Shabbos mornings when I fell back to sleep without saying Kerias Shema, but it made a deep impression on me. Now, years later, I still try to be particular to say Shema before the earlier time.
The Italians enjoy their pasta, the Eskimos live in the snow, and we thrive with prayer!
Isn’t that the story of our lives? Aren’t we always thinking that just around the next bend is the key to happiness?
We are given a phone line, an address to turn to whenever we need help – it’s the power of prayer, the siddur, and Tehillim. If we fail to take advantage of that ability, it’s our own foolishness.
A light fixture will only give off light if a compatible bulb is inserted into it. The inner light of any person, especially a child, will only shine if a compatible approach is employed.
I have an ongoing debate with my Brooklyn friends. They claim Monsey is too quiet and boring; I claim it’s far more beautiful and quainter. They say I can keep the quiet beauty and they’ll keep their restaurants and all the action. I agree.
More important than all the physical succos that we construct and dismantle each year, are the spiritual structures that we construct.
The beautiful Yomim Tovim of Tishrei have awakened us from our spiritual slumber and reenergized us. Now our job is to make sure we don’t fall back to sleep.
If the wire is frayed the connection is faulty and that spiritual power will not ignite within our souls.
There is much good that we do with our cell phones, and they help us in so many ways. But how often do we take them out to look at them during davening in shul, during family meal times, or at any time when we are conversing with another person?
As a child I was sure that it was our saying of tashlich that caused the East River to be so murky and polluted. After all, the river contained all of the discarded sins of all of Manhattan on one side, and all of Brooklyn and Queens on the other.
We have all experienced the frustration of not following through on our goals, and feeling we are right back where we started. But hopefully we have also experienced some modicum of success and self-improvement. Wherein lies the difference?
It was the greatest gift I personally received then, because it was something that I really wanted/needed and was not able to take care of myself. Had he asked me if he should do it for me, I undoubtedly would have told him not to, not wanting to bother him so much.
Every appointment every week was anxiety provoking. It was like having Yom Kippur constantly.
We often speak about having emunah peshuta – ‘simple faith,’ or some might say blind faith, in G-d. The truth is that we are not charged to merely believe. We are charged to develop faith that stems from knowing the truth in our hearts.
On some level, we remain skeptical and don’t really believe it. We maintain this inner feeling that we would be different. If only we made it big and had it all we would defy the statistics of high rates of depression, empty lives, and broken homes.
The measure of greatness is not when one performs when he's at his best, but how much he is able to produce when his resistance is low and he's not feeling his best.
In thanking Hashem for preparing the steps of man, we are essentially admitting and thanking G-d for running our lives according to His Master Plan.
Why, if we have so many masterful presentations which resonate so deeply and create such a deep impression, do we seem to struggle so much with the very issues these videos are targeting?
One of the more painful components of having struggling children is that the families often feel judged and at a loss of how to properly relate to and with their precious child. The feeling that they are not alone and there are others who can listen and commiserate is invaluable.
Remarkably, its shira is Hodu laHashem kir’u b’shemo – Praise Hashem, call out in His name. I don’t know of any other animal’s shira that seems more directly connected to the recitation of brachos.
For best result, ensure plenty of good consistency.
When it comes to both parenting and teaching, we don’t like to watch children make mistakes. We also don’t like having to take the time and energy to enforce the consequences of those mistakes.
During the years when the commercial was popular, my Rosh Yeshiva, Rabbi Berel Wein, quipped, What can you expect from a generation whose slogan is to ‘Be like Mike’?
We always have to be striving to climb our personal Har Sinai – a climb to the peak which is not too overwhelming and daunting to the top.
Rabbi Dovid Orlofsky notes that in the post-Holocaust years there was an unverbalized message conveyed to every child that he/she was vital to the Jewish cause. As a nation we had lost so much and had endured such utter devastation and destruction that every individual was crucial for our efforts to rebuild.
Bridges do not remove the massive abyss that separates two bodies of land, but rather create specific points of connection. In a similar vein, sometimes our disagreements with other people or groups are valid, and we may not have the authority to overlook or forgive those differences.
Because we are so blessed with material comfort and convenience, we need to remember that growth and greatness only come with exertion, persistence, and effort. Discomfort, and often pain, are par for the course.
There were some key phrases she used that resonated with me; quips such as, It’s a no brainer and Have your money do the work for you.
Judaism does not necessarily laud one who knows many facts. When the Torah refers to a chacham it refers to one who possesses a deep desire for knowledge.
When one is riding on cloud nine and feels that longing to be close with their prospective spouse he/she can spend hours working out minute details to enhance the experience even more.
Rabbi Wein recounts that they imparted to his generation the need to appreciate being part of the eternal people and the responsibility it entails. He also speaks of our need to pridefully convey those messages to our progeny.
The Torah does not merely demand that we ‘do certain things.’ The Torah demands that we develop and foster a passionate connection with it.
In a superficial society so focused on externals this is true on many levels. But perhaps it is never truer than regarding the holiday of Purim.
When the Beis HaMikdash stood we were keenly aware of our ‘marriage’ to Hashem... In exile however, we are isolated and surrounded by a culture that does not ascribe to Torah values.
Education is not just about compliance, but about instilling values into our children’s souls, so that it becomes part of them for life.
Each holiday brings with it unique spiritual blessing and specific components of Divine service that can be attained. When a weekly Shabbos Torah reading includes a discussion about a holiday, a taste of that holiday’s blessing is spiritually palpable.
We feel like we are racing down the runway picking up speed, as the plane pulsates from the acceleration. And then suddenly the shaking ceases and we are airborne.
If you would dig beneath the basement of my house, I’m not sure you’d find anything too intriguing.
The concept of both sides being correct flies in the face of the prevailing attitude and mindset of our society.
When surrounded on all sides and too coddled, one becomes too stifled to grow and produce.
There’s no doubt about it. There’s something missing in the hearts and souls of so many today and they can’t seem to satiate it.
Angels They dance before him As he sways gently, Serenely Then his voice reverberates Gratitude for sanctification
To be honest there were many Shabbos mornings when I fell back to sleep without saying kerias shema, but it made a deep impression on me. Now I try to be particular to say shema before the earlier time.
Things often aren’t as spectacular as we anticipate. But more importantly, he wasn’t alone in his experience in Eretz Yisrael, or in visiting the Kosel for the first time.
I daven each morning, and have the great merit to don those G-d-endowed gifts for a few precious moments of prayer each morning. But it's hard to remember how precious those gifts are.
Tests are not measured only based on circumstance, but also based on who the person is. Two people may be faced with the exact same challenge and yet deal with it completely differently.
Each year as Rosh Hashana approaches many people find themselves despairingly thinking that this will yet be another year of failed growth. I am exactly who I was last year and the year before that, and I can never change. But in reality, that attitude is hardly ever true.
The week of Parshas Noach is the first full week after the holiday season has drawn to a close. As we recount that catastrophic deluge which eradicated all that existed prior, we hope it is not also when all that we have accomplished these last few weeks becomes erased as well.
I once heard a lecturing rabbi suggest – somewhat surprisingly – that he felt men should not buy their wives flowers every Shabbos. He reasoned that doing so makes the flowers become a trite habit that loses its meaning.
It’s not enough to give our children training and resources, we also have to give them the space to fall. We have to imbue them with the confidence that they can grow from their mistakes and fallings.
This is why Sukkos follows Yom Kippur. The Gemara states that in the place where a ba’al teshuva stands, even the most sincerely righteous cannot stand.
The truth is that the message of Sukkos is so important, especially in our day and age, and it is unfortunately not spoken about enough.
If we do it before Pesach with our chometz, could we do it before Yom Kippur with our sins?
Rosh Hashana is referred to as a day of light. In what way is the day that we, and the entire world, stand in meticulous judgment a day of light?
Perhaps our first step must be to pop the huge balloon that envelops us so that we can see beyond our own confines.
The problem is that if we don’t expand our comfort zone, it begins to shrink.
We have a lot of opinions about other people and why they are that way. We are always quicker to find the small stain and hole than we are to notice the virtues.
We like convenience. In fact, our world is driven by it. We expect no less than high-speed internet and sophisticated toys and attractions.
When people approach him and tell him what a terrible speech it was, he knows he struck a chord and he considers it a good speech.
Just as the bat can navigate through the darkness by utilizing echolocation, so too must we learn how to navigate the darkness of exile using the ‘echolocation’ provided for us by the Torah and our leaders.
When someone is subjected to the same experience day and after day, no matter how awe-inspiring, terrifying or intriguing it is, eventually it becomes trite and loses its intrigue. Eventually it becomes nothing more than background noise.
During my late teen years, on one occasion I went with a few friends to a theme park on Chol HaMoed and brought a knapsack full of stuffed animals from my house. Once we entered the park, I took them out and walked around holding them.
.It is not enough to purchase the means to perform mitzvos on the highest level, we also need to have an appreciation of the meaning, essence, and laws regarding the mitzvah.
The trees that were not watered with sprinklers had to develop deeper roots into the ground to ensure that they would receive the nutrients and water they needed.
I was thrilled when we leased a new car a few years ago and found that it had what I dubbed shalom bayis controls. Both driver and passenger have their own setting for heat and air conditioning.
The people waiting for the adjacent elevator suddenly saw two slices of pizza fly out of the elevator followed by a religious bearded fellow climbing out of the elevator.
It’s so easy for us to become overwhelmed with daily affairs that we forget about the needs of others. It may not be as life-changing as a new position, but even a phone call seeking our assistance or advice can be painful if not returned.
My father looked at me, motioned towards the boxes, and said ‘C’mon, it’s the right thing to do!’
Some people politely greeted me and asked who I was and what I was doing there. For the evening, I explained that I was the new husband of the former Chani Mermelstein.
Flowers symbolize the need for constant effort to maintain and build even the best relationships.
One of the criticisms of our society’s child-rearing is that we aren’t sufficiently training children to think for themselves. Children quickly learn how to spit back the information we want them to say, record it on tests, and tell us what we want to hear them say.
As the rain dripped upon the bag atop my head, and my toes began to wrinkle inside my drenched socks, I could only marvel at the appreciation Rabbi Miller had for every aspect of creation.
Rabbi Akiva gathered five students and taught them Torah. The fact that whereas previously thousands had gathered to hear and savor his every word and now he had only five did not deter him.
For frum Jews there is a much more significant concern because the earliest time for Shacharis may be well after 8 a.m. Having to daven so late will complicate things for the masses who need to be at work by 9 a.m. or earlier, as well as for our yeshivos.
What struck me about Rav Chaim’s response was not only the brevity and humility of it, but also that he had taken the time to reply at all.
These trivial disagreements have become an essential component of social media culture. The fact that there can never be a definitive answer to the questions doesn’t seem to make any difference to the debaters.
We may look at a pair of tefillin and admire how beautiful they are, while a non-Jew will try to figure out what’s so beautiful about leather straps connected to black leather boxes.
No one wears a better costume than the holiday of Purim itself!
In a certain way, our commitment to upholding the teachings of Moshe became more entrenched after his passing. While he was alive the nation was able to rely on Moshe to teach them and remind them of the Torah he taught them.
We must realize that to pray effectively, we don’t need to be at Kever Rochel, it doesn’t have to be Purim or Yom Kippur, and we don’t even need a Tehillim or a siddur.
Throughout the year, many people feel they don’t belong – that they don’t measure up and therefore don’t deserve to be counted among certain other Jews.
June 26, 2026 
