Sensitivity Training

“If you will observe this entire commandment … to walk in all His ways and to cleave to Him.” (Devarim 11:22)

Rashi elaborates, “G-d is merciful, so you too be merciful; He bestows loving kindness, so you too bestow loving kindness.”

The great Gaon R’ Yaakov Neiman expounds that one who fulfills the mitzvos between himself and Hashem will surely be attentive to those mitzvos that are between man and his fellow man. As one who clings to the mitzvos of Hashem, he should remember that such adherence includes being sympathetic to others and mindful of their sensitivities. Our sifrei mussar advise us that this requires vigilance on our part, because it is easily possible for a person not to see his own faults and not to understand what he is doing wrong.

In fact, we find that the mitzvos between man and his fellow man and the mitzvos between man and Hashem are side by side on the Luchos, to demonstrate that they are equally important.

HaGaon Rav Wachtfogel cites the great R’ Yeruchem who clarifies the Mishna (Avos 3:2), “… if people did not fear the government, a person would swallow his fellow alive.” R’ Yeruchem asks: How is it possible that a person would sink to such a level of cruelty that he would swallow his fellow man alive? Surely the other individual will cry and shout for his life.

R’ Yeruchem agrees that, in truth, no person is that cruel; there is no such cruelty typically in the world. But it is possible to happen because he does not hear the cries. He does not even see his pain. He is so self-absorbed that he doesn’t fathom that someone is being harmed by his conduct. If he would hear his friend’s cry, he would not be cruel.

The Talmud (Shabbos 31a)tells about the non-Jew who came to Shammai and asked to be converted on the condition that he taught him the entire Torah while he (the non-Jew) stood on one foot. Shammai pushed him away with a measuring stick used by builders. Our Sages tell us this was to allude to the fact that Torah is learned in stages, like a building that is built in phases. When the non-Jew approached Hillel with the same request, he taught him one thing: That which is hateful to you, do not do unto others.

The question is posed: Why did the non-Jew need to learn the entire Torah at once? Didn’t he realize he was making an impossible request? Torah knowledge is accrued step by step. What was he thinking?

Yet we see that Hillel did fulfill his request. How did he do so? And, if Hillel wanted to teach him the principles of Judaism, why not teach him the Ten Commandments?

It is perhaps preferable to evaluate this narrative through the prism of mussar –how to live an ethical life.

The non-Jew wanted to convert. It is known that the Jewish people are distinct from the people of the world in that they are by nature compassionate, have a sense of shame, and bestow loving kindness and charity. The more a person is involved in Torah, the more admirable are his good character traits, his philanthropy and his interactions with others. On the other hand, writes the Rambam (Avadim 9:8),among non-Jews the character traits of cruelty and arrogance are found.

It is suggested that when the non-Jew came to Hillel he had already integrated Shammai’s lesson. He understood that Torah study was not merely necessary in order to learn the mitzvos; it was a mandatory tool for the refinement of one’s middos and the development of one’s sensitivities. Hillel’s lesson intended to enroot within the non-Jew a deep appreciation for that element of the Torah that improves and perfects us.

The great Gaon R’ Moshe Shmuel Shapiro was once traveling in a taxi with his disciples, who were engaged in a discussion in Yiddish. The rosh yeshiva interrupted them and asked them to please speak in Hebrew. After they left the taxi, the disciples asked why the rosh yeshiva had made that request. He explained that the driver did not understand Yiddish and he probably thought they were talking about him. The rosh yeshiva wanted to ensure that the driver was not uncomfortable.

A young man from the kehillah of Sanz in Union City, New Jersey, and a faithful chasid of the Klausenberger Rebbe was in distress. His good friend traveled in from Brooklyn to meet with him and see how he could be of assistance. The two men sat in the beis medrash late into the night. At some point the door of the beis medrash opened, and in walked the Klausenberger Rebbe himself. The two men rose in reverence, and the Rebbe inquired why the man from Boro Park was here in Union City at such a late hour.

The chasid explained, “In truth, I was ready for bed, but then I thought to myself: How can I sleep at night when I know that my friend is having such a great problem. I was sure he wasn’t sleeping, so I traveled in from Boro Park to speak with him in person.”

The Klausenberger Rebbe said good night and left. Early the next morning, the chasid from Boro Park received a call from the Rebbe requesting his presence in his home. The chasid immediately hurried over to the Rebbe’s house.

“You should know,” the Klausenberger Rebbe said to him, “that when you traveled from Brooklyn to your friend in Union City, in order to share his pain, there was great turmoil in Heaven. When they saw how one Jew cannot sleep when his friend is suffering, they were inspired to save this man from his pain. Indeed, in your merit, your friend will be saved,” said the Rebbe.

The Rebbe continued, “I don’t want you to think that I performed some kind of miracle. Therefore, I ask you to please not publicize that I came into the beis medrash in the middle of the night and that I saw you there.”

And so it was. The friend’s difficulties were resolved.