One of the special features of the wonderful upcoming Yom Tov of Shavuos is the reading of Megillas Rus. While it is a fascinating and delightful story, its linkage to the celebration of Matan Torah, the giving of the Torah, is not at all obvious. Why we read Megillas Esther on Purim is a slam dunk, for it’s the very story of Purim. So too, Eicha, Lamentations, on Tisha B’Av, for it is the mournful dirge of the destruction of Yerushalayim and the Temple. But the Megilla of Rus doesn’t mention the Torah at all, and it seems to be disconnected from the Shavuos spirit.
One school of thought is that Shavuos is the yahrzeit of Dovid HaMelech. Therefore, we lein Megillas Rus, which reveals to us the wonderful beginnings of Dovid HaMelech. But there is another reason given which is more central to the very essence of Shavuos. In Rus Rabbah, the question is asked, “HaMegillah hazeh ein bo lo issur v’heter, v’lo tumah v’taharah. Umipnei mah bah? L’lamedcha schar gadol shel gomlei chasadim – This Megillah does not contain information about that which is prohibited or permitted, that which is ritually contaminated or pure. If so, why is it taught to us? To teach us the great reward for acts of kindness.” The Megillah is replete with heroic kindness. The dedication of Rus and Orpah to their mother-in-law, Naomi, after the death of their husbands, Machlon and Chilyon, the kindness of Boaz to the Moabite convert Rus; these are hallmarks of Megillas Rus.
This is the reason why we read Rus on Shavuos; to accentuate one of the core essences of the Torah HaKedosha which is chesed. Indeed, the Medrash at the very beginning of the Torah says that the Torah opens with an act of kindness and closes with an act of kindness. Namely, Torah starts with Hashem clothing Adam and Chava when they were naked (not to mention the creation of the entire world, which is the most monumental act of kindness, as it says, “Olam chesed yiboneh”), and it finishes with an act of kindness when Hashem Himself buries Moshe Rabbeinu, to teach us that the entire Torah is full of chesed. This is why we say the phrase Toras chesed in Eishes Chayil for the Torah is a compendium of kindness.
Thus, one of the great lessons of Shavuos is for us to reaffirm our commitment to being a kind, loving people. Indeed, it is one of the three national traits that mark a person as a Torah Jew: rachmonim, baishonim, v’gomlei chasadim, we are a people who are compassionate, we have a sense of shame, and we do acts of kindness. Indeed, the word gever, which is the Hebrew word for a man and means strength, is also an acronym of rachmonim, baishonim, gomlei chasadim!
There is a scary thought shared in the Sefer Chemdas Eliyahu. He cites the Gemara which asks a historical question. The First Temple was destroyed because we were guilty of three cardinal sins, idolatry, immorality, and bloodshed. However, during the time of the Second Temple, we had Torah, mitzvos, and kindness. So therefore, why was the Second Temple destroyed? The Gemara gives the grim answer: we were awash in the sin of sinas chinam, senseless hatred for each other. The Chemdas Eliyahu comments about the phenomenon that it is possible for us to be saturated with kindness and at the same time to be guilty of sinas chinam. This points to a sobering reality. We are ready to do plenty of kindnesses on our own terms.
Still, it isn’t necessarily so, that loving kindness permeates our very beings. For, if that were true, it would be virtually impossible for us at the same time to be guilty of sinas chinam. This is a tough question which we need to confront about ourselves. Is much of the kindness that we do truly for others or is it more about feeling good about ourselves or for our own aggrandizement?
When Rabbi Akiva said, “V’ahavta l’rei’acha k’mocha; Zeh klal gadol baTorah – Love your fellow man as you love yourself. This is a great principle of the Torah,” he was emphasizing this battle against being self-centered.
Let me share with you an important observation. There is a troubling anomaly in human behavior. Some spouses never compliment their mate in private but in public they sing the praises of their partner to others. In a similar vein, children who care for an older parent might never hear thanks from their father or mother but are amazed and troubled when they hear this same parent sing the praises of how their children take care of them when speaking with their own friends.
Why do so many people behave in such a paradoxical way? The answer is simple. When a spouse or a parent compliments their mate or their child, the act is about the other person. This is something that self-centered people have a hard time doing. When it comes to telling others about the goodness of a spouse or the wonderful behavior of their children, then it’s really about the person himself: What a great spouse they have, or what great children they raised. They have no problem applauding themselves publicly to others. The husband has no problem boasting to the public what a great wife he has because that’s all about himself. To compliment his wife in private would be about her. That’s something he has not yet mastered.
In a similar vein, Shlomo HaMelech, in describing the Eishes Chayil, the Woman of Valor, explains, “Kamu banehah vayashruhah, baalah vayehal’lah – Her children get up and applaud her, her husband gets up and sings about her.” The obvious question is: Of course they praise her, it’s his wife and it’s their mother. Wouldn’t it be more telling to know what others say about her? The answer is a resounding, NO! How she behaves with other people is because she is constantly calculating quid pro quo. If she’s not nice, she won’t get a raise; if she’s not friendly, people won’t call her anymore. But how she behaves at home, where they are stuck with her, is all about whether she is moved to do for others, and is not simply centered on herself. This is why, to build a successful Klal Yisrael, Eliezer looked for just one thing in a wife for Yitzchak, and that was a passion for chesed, a love to do for others, for that is the very life blood of the Torah and a Torah Jew.
So, this Shavuos, as we enjoy the blintzes and the flowers, as we stay up all night reaffirming our dedication to Torah study, let’s also reevaluate how much we do for others without thinking, “What’s in it for me?” because that is the true meaning of being a baal chesed.
In the merit of working on cultivating true kindness, first and foremost in our homes and then all around us, may Hashem bless us with long life, good health, happiness, and everything wonderful.
Transcribed and edited by Shelley Zeitlin.