יום רביעי, ט״ז תמוז תשפ״וWednesday, July 1, 2026
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An acclaimed educator and social skills specialist, Mrs. Rifka Schonfeld has served the Jewish community for close to thirty years. She founded and directs the widely acclaimed educational program, SOS, servicing all grade levels in secular as well as Hebrew studies. A kriah and reading specialist, she has given dynamic workshops and has set up reading labs in many schools. In addition, she offers evaluations G.E.D. preparation, social skills training and shidduch coaching, focusing on building self-esteem and self-awareness. She can be reached at 718-382-5437 or at rifkaschonfeld@gmail.com.
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As parents, we can be role models for our children and teach them that when things are tough, they still need to keep trying.
What is motivation? It’s the ability to improve our efforts and rouse ourselves into action. It’s the magic ingredient that adds a measure of oomph to the day. It’s an essential factor of learning.
If we start off happy, then we feel good about ourselves and what we're doing. If we feel good about ourselves, we look great.
We push our children’s money questions aside, sometimes telling them that their queries are impolite, or perhaps worrying that they will call out our own financial hypocrisy and errors.
Executive skills allow us to organize our behavior over time and override immediate demands in favor of longer-term goals.
If you feel that someone is misrepresenting your purpose or intent, use a contrasting statement.
See your blind spots. Before we resist the feedback, it’s important to recognize that perhaps maybe other people see things that we do not.
While there are always exceptions, teenage girls often experience significantly more stress around appearances – what they look like and how they dress.
If you don’t believe in yourself, you may end up choosing to forgo positive experience simply because you don’t think you will succeed.
Different communities and families have different norms when it comes to the role of parents in the dating process. There is no one size fits all and no one golden rule.
If you want to be a leader, you need to make connections. People need to see you as an individual with imperfections and vulnerabilities.
Both instilling motivation and creating a safe space are integral parts of learning, helping students feel that they both want to learn and that the conditions are right for learning.
What doctors and teachers call hyperactivity can also be called exuberance.
If you have just moved or are entering a new community, the section on representing yourself as an individual can shed light on social interactions.
We need to remind ourselves constantly why we are taking the precautions we are taking. Remembering the reason gives us the strength to move forward.
What can we do to raise confident daughters – daughters who are proud of who they are and not what they look like?
Part of being productive is knowing what to do with all the ideas floating around your head and world.
Turns out, there’s actually quite a lot that you can do about overthinking.
Whether you or your child is suffering from an anxiety disorder or just plain old anxiety, there are still many things you can do in order to help control the anxiety.
The shidduch process has many challenges both for individuals and for communities as well.
Emotional intelligence therefore grounds children as people who can interact positively with others and continue to develop even as the playing field gets more difficult and challenging. This extends to shidduchim as well.
Of course, everyone is reading and writing about productivity today in a world that doesn’t sleep, and perhaps Duhigg’s book is an oversimplification of our daily race against the clock.
Children will often get caught up in a power struggle: you pushing and them resisting. Your anxiety about the consequences of their actions will only teach them either how to appease you or resist you.
It’s hard for people to understand children can have a learning disability that affects only writing. Most people assume if you have no trouble reading, then writing should be a cinch.
What if your child is not simply a late bloomer? What if he needs early intervention in order to help him attain language?
If you are experiencing crippling anxiety, there are four different approaches that you can take in order to make your life more manageable and enjoyable.
We all start life the same way – as babies completely dependent on others for even our most basic needs... The older we become, however, the more control we gain. We learn to communicate, move, and interact with others.
Though you might not like to admit it – there is a chance that your child’s stubbornness is genetic.
Creating schedules and setting timers can help those with ADHD harness their natural energy and direct it towards their passion.
Well, Nachi, if you don’t know how to put your shoes on, then we won’t be able to go to your friend’s birthday party. We can’t go outside without shoes on.
Girls use relationships to bully each other. This starts as early as preschool, when a girl realizes the supremacy of “I won’t be your friend anymore.”
Using your successful relationship with your parents as a guide, you will be better equipped to maintain long-term relationships in the future.
Out of nowhere, Ruti would feel herself growing annoyed without even understanding why she was upset.
Pay attention to what your daughter is learning in school. Are women represented? See if there is a way to incorporate more positive role models.
You might wonder why someone in my field is writing about this topic. The truth is that we have all seen that isolation is rampant and a secondary symptom of this pandemic.
It is human nature to look forward to a milestone, to say, “by next Pesach, we will be back to normal and celebrating together.” The problem with that is when next Pesach comes and things remain the same, you will feel crestfallen and distraught.
While those who suffer from SAD syndrome generally begin to feel the effects once we change the clock and the days get shorter, these symptoms have been intensified by Covid-19 and the way that the pandemic has changed our life.
Some of the anxiety associated with math comes from the need to be perfect, to always get the right answer.
How can you notice this imbalance in your children? Pay attention to the way they speak.
Both instilling motivation and creating a safe space are integral parts of learning, helping students feel that they both want to learn and that the conditions are right for learning.
Improving our social thinking begins with improving self-awareness, and is a skill that is used for much more than having successful social interactions.
Whether your child is at home or in school learning, incorporate brain breaks – time for movement that can actually jump start the brain.
What’s the problem with our decision-making process? How can we deal with it even in this most stressful times?
Don’t get stuck on the “who” of the feedback. Instead, focus on the “what.”
For those who have lost their regular routines, who go to sleep and wake up with uncertainty of what tomorrow will bring, it is likely that they are experiencing anxiety.
As soon as we wake up, we are (hopefully) motivated to join the world.
What about emotional and mental health issues? How do we get to the root of those? There are diagnostics, tests, and surveys to help diagnose emotional or mental issues. But, we all know that there are times that we get it wrong.
They went through the same process every year: Moshe kicking and screaming in the car on the way to school, two months of crying before he went to sleep, and then Moshe’s eventual resignation and despair for the duration of the year.
This year, with most camps closed and several months with no school, siblings have already spent lots of time together. This can make the conflict even more pronounced.
If your child is struggling with an activity, consider speaking to the teacher about his or her goals for the activity.
Get creative – and collaborative. Brainstorm your children’s passions and come up with large projects that they can work on by themselves or with a friend or family member remotely.
While the virus still affects our daily lives and our futures are uncertain, we can still recognize that there is a lot of work to be done with ourselves and our children around the anxieties that the pandemic has already created and will continue to create. We hear all the time that children are resilient […]
Often we have negative voices that we listen to in our heads. Voices that tell us that we are a “loser,” that we will “never succeed,” or that we need to be better at something.
Some blow up dozens of times a day, others just a few times a week. Some ‘lose it’ only at home, others only in school, and still others in any conceivable location. Some scream when they become frustrated, others become physically or verbally aggressive.
Without enough sleep, teens can feel like they are walking around in a perpetual haze. And this haze can lead to disastrous consequences.
When classes end, it is incredibly important to get your kids reading, especially if they struggle with reading during the year.
While I am not calling to question the diagnoses of medical professionals, there are many children who exhibit signs of ADHD but may be struggling with something else.
Labels are great because they are clear and defined, but when we only see the label, we lose the individual.
For most children, listening is the first entry point into a text, and we finally have the technology to allow children (and adults) to listen to almost any printed book.
It’s important to recognize why we feel anxiety. If we didn’t have any anxiety, we wouldn’t know to be cautious around dangerous things.
Don’t “should” yourself. In times of uncertainty, it’s incredibly important to be kind to yourself. There is really a “should” when you don’t know what the future will bring.
As a global crisis forces us to reevaluate our ethos and values, perhaps this is the time to focus on our elderly...
The only thing we can be sure of as a constant is change. Change is hard and we are often resistant.
We avoid difficult conversations, we react with anger, and we eat our feelings without knowing why.
The issue is that the food only temporarily satisfies the emotional hunger. After eating, the person usually feels shame and guilt and has not gotten to the root of the emotion to begin with.
Recognizing that uncertainty makes us think the worst, which almost never occurs, can help you overcome your worst moments.
Kessler calls what we are all feeling “anticipatory grief,” and explains that it is the “feeling we get about what the future holds when we’re uncertain.”
The secret to being more productive is understanding how to manage your brain better.
While some worry and anxiety is normal, it is a problem if it interferes with the child’s daily functioning.
Working with curricula that truly allows students to read, write, and talk about the essential content will prepare them for college, careers, and productive citizenship.
Research shows that our brains never stop developing, and parenting provides you with an opportunity for lifelong learning.
NFL coach Bill Parcells in Harvard Business Review wrote, “When you set small, visible goals, and people achieve them, they start to get it into their heads that they can succeed.”
The more we know about how our children’s brains work, the better we will be able nurture stronger, more resilient children.
The goal of coaches is to provide children with a safe environment to practice their still emerging communication skills.
After we address the bullying crisis, we can teach children how to make long-lasting relationships.
The hidden curriculum is the implicit social rules that many children pick up on without having to be explicitly taught.
There’s a chance that your children have too much stimulation, but the more likely culprit is that bedtime is too late!
With so many new cases of ADHD reported each year, it is important to help children learn how to sit still.
It’s hard to believe, but friendship truly begins by believing in yourself and having the ability to accept both constructive criticism and affection.
Our schools are immersed in standards, educational assessments, and prescribed curricula. All of these things are ultimately good – they help create standardized and measurable learning goals.
Recall is not the same as understanding. Just because you can say something does not mean you actually grasp it.
Reading allows you to explore and learn about the world around you in a safe and supported environment.
Joe worries a lot. It’s not apparent to most people. In fact, he’s often described by people he knows as a really calm guy. “Nothing bothers Joe!” they say. It’s an act.
How can you ensure that your children have this wonderful, confident, and happy future?
We do a lot of talking to ourselves without even realizing it – and some of the stories that we tell ourselves can either help us bounce back or force us deeper into the struggle.
Parents fight a daily internal battle to “attain a balance between teaching children that they must do their best, and teaching them that they are ‘the best’ regardless of what they do…
In fact, instead of doing things that help us learn, we often do the exact opposite.
As most parents only want their children to enjoy and succeed, they feel a lot of pain when their child seems to miss out on so many of life’s rewards because they are scared of something.
The maximizers who spend so much time on the decision are often less happy with the results.
In any relationship, the words that people say are extremely significant, but it is the unspoken language of friendship that truly allows relationships to flourish and grow.
What happens if the stressor is not a lion? What happens if the stressor is a really rude boss?
If the thoughts that are keeping you awake are tasks you need to complete, write them down. This way, you know you won’t forget.
The best way to not fall back into bad habits is to avoid those triggers to begin with.
It’s very possible that you are disorganized because you simply have never tried to be organized.
If NVLD is misunderstood, these children can develop more serious emotional problems such as depression, anxiety, and phobias.
Ask someone you trust to play the part of the interviewer. Then, spend time rehearsing questions and answers with that person.
Research shows that children can learn to say “please” and “thank you” from the age of eighteen months; however, true gratitude and appreciation takes time to grow and blossom.
When still in school, it’s easier to make friends because you are forced into social situations. As an adult, making friends can be harder – especially because your life is busy.
When you see your daughter acting in a positive way, let her know.
As I delved deeper into these findings, joy started to become less amorphous and abstract to me and more tangible and real.
June 26, 2026 
