The wondrous Haggadah Otzros Pla’os HaTorah writes that it was the minhag of the Minchas Elazar, following the opinion of the Darchei Chaim v’HaSholom, that after eating the egg at the second Seder, they would sing Eishes Chayil. The venerable Vayaged Moshe also recalls that his father, Reb Asher Anschel Katz, sang Eishes Chayil at the meal, specifically during the second Seder.
No reason is given and it immediately raises two obvious questions. First, why not on the first night? The women most definitely deserve recognition for making a sparkling home, free of chometz, and for all their wonderful Seder preparations. The second question is why wouldn’t Eishes Chayil be sung at its customary position, right before Kiddush?
To unravel these mysteries, we should start with another question. I have over 200 Haggadahs in my home. One hundred and ninety-seven do not include Shalom Aleichem and Eishes Chayil before Kiddush. The question is, “Why not?” Every so often, Pesach falls out on Friday night. Shouldn’t we sing Shalom Aleichem and Eishes Chayil? The commentaries inform us that since the shechina itself visits us on the night of the Seder, as it says, “Uv’mora gadol – zo gilu’i shechina – With great awe – this is the revelation of the Divine presence.” So, we don’t need the visitation of the angels. We might add perhaps that on the night that we say, “Lo al y’dei malach, v’lo al y’dei shaliach – Not through an angel, and not through an agent,” we decline to mention angels just like we avoid mentioning Moshe’s name (except for the incidental “Vaya’aminu baHashem uv’Moshe avdo – And they had faith in Hashem and in Moshe, His servant”).
In a break from the norm, the prestigious Mesivta Haggadah includes Shalom Aleichem and Eishes Chayil, and this is consistent with the custom of Belz that sings Eishes Chayil on Friday night when there is a Seder with the explanation that even though we don’t need the angels when Hashem is there, we show them gratitude for their visitation all the rest of the year.
It dawned on me this year that a very possible reason for the omission of Shalom Aleichem and Eishes Chayil is that, when we come home the table is supposed to be already set so that we can start Kiddush immediately. This is so the children can be awake at least for the questions of Mah Nishtanah and the answer of Avadim Hayinu. This would answer the riddle of why they inserted Eishes Chayil during the meal after all the mitzvahs (except for afikomen and the later kosos) are already done and not before Kiddush.
But the puzzle remains: Why specifically on the second night? Bear in mind that we never say Eishes Chayil on Yom Tov. It’s only on Shabbos, so why the exception? I believe that answer is as follows. On the second night of Pesach, in a gutsy move, Esther manipulated Haman and she caused the enemy to be hung. And the Eishes Chayil that we sing is in honor of Esther HaMalka who risked her life to save her people. I even thought of a nifty hint that the first four words of Eishes Chayil highlight this. For these words, “Eishes Chayil mi yimtza,” the roshei teivos, the first letters of these words, are alef, ches, mem, and yud. These letters can stand for Esther, Charvonah, and Mordechai Yehudi, all the players involved in Haman’s hanging. This allusion to the miracle of the hanging of Haman is consistent with a custom of the Chasam Sofer, zt”l, zy”a, who would serve tongue at the Seder meal on the second night of Pesach since when someone is hung, his tongue sticks out, and it is in remembrance of the downfall of Haman.
(As an aside, Rav Reuven Feinstein, shlit”a, in his special Haggadah, recommends tongue as a perfect food for the Seder menu. People are always wondering what to specially serve on the second night when you can’t have any type of roast. Rav Reuven says tongue is a perfect option since it’s a delicious meat which honors the Seder cuisine. I would also like to add that it’s also symbolically perfect, for at the Seder the thrust is to correct the diba ra, the evil tidings of Yosef and the slander of Dasan and Aviram that led us down to Egypt. So, tongue is very appropriate to be on the Seder menu.)
Many decades ago, I started my own custom at our Seder. In light of the celebration on the second night of our victory against our nemesis Haman, during the meal on the second night we would sing Ma’oz Tzur, the popular Chanukah song. I would explain that it is more fitting on Pesach than on Chanukah. When it comes to Chanukah, only one stanza applies: “Y’vanim nik’bitzu alai – The Greeks gathered against me.” But for the second night of Pesach, there are three relevant stanzas: the second, the fourth, and the last. The second stanza, “Ra’os sav’ah nafshi – My soul was full of bad,” and it continues to say Malchus Eglah which refers to the Egyptian era. Then there’s the fourth stanza, “Kros komas b’rosh bikeish,” that Haman Agagi cut a mighty cypress tree and it ended up being his undoing. Finally, the last stanza, “Chasof z’ro’a kadshecha, v’kareiv keitz hayeshuah – Uncover your mighty arm (Hashem) and bring the time of redemption,” is perfect for the Seder night, since the Seder night is Leil Shimurim, the night that we await the final redemption.
To conclude, I will share with you two humorous stories that my custom generated. The first incident happened when I was living in Staten Island on Rupert Avenue. Our Seder traditionally went so late that people were already walking home when we were just eating our meal. Walking by outside, they heard us singing Ma’oz Tzur. The next day in shul, someone commented that “Rabbi Weiss got ‘good and shikur’ (very intoxicated). He was singing Chanukah songs at the Seder!” The second story occurred when I was at the wonderful Pesach program by Mel, Schick, and Motti Katz many years ago. Before davening Maariv on the second night, I said over my custom to sing Ma’oz Tzur. The bakery chef heard this and liked it so much that he baked pesachdik hamantaschen for desert that night!
We certainly can sing Eishes Chayil and tell our wives that besides Esther, we have them in mind as well for the wonderful job they did in preparing the house for Pesach and making the beautiful and delicious Seder.
In the merit of all the wonderful minhagim, may Hashem bless us with long life, good health, and everything wonderful.
Transcribed and edited by Shelley Zeitlin.