Learning Curve

Matot-Masei

Sefer Bamidbar, or more accurately, what transpired with Am Yisrael in the Midbar, is a highly concentrated microcosm of our entire history as a nation, before and ever since. We read of wondrous epiphanies, like Yam Suf, like Har Sinai and then we read of cataclysmic crises, like the sin with the eigel, like the ten spies. We read of great miracles, like the mann and then we read of insidious complaints against this miraculous food. We read of iconic, great leaders like Moshe and Aharon and then we read of great villains like Datan, Aviram and Korach. We read of great opportunity and then we read about missed opportunity.

How are we to understand Sefer Bamidbar? Indeed, how are we to understand the entire history of our nation which is a mirror image of the generation of the Midbar?

HaKadosh Baruch Hu created mankind in the "image of G-d." We are all born gifted, each and every one of us. We do not all share the same gift, each has their own unique gift, that reflects some aspect of the "image of G-d." It is like a spark within each of us, waiting to grow into a flame.

HaKadosh Baruch Hu, the parent (as it were) puts us, his children in Gan Eden and He says to us – do this, do that, don't do this! Why? Because I told you so, I have more "life experience" than you do and I know what the outcome will be if you do such and such. And incredibly, what does the "child" do? Exactly the opposite of what the "Parent" told him. In order to be able to defy the directive of the "Parent," HaKadosh Baruch Hu had to design the world in such a way that it is possible to defy directives in the first place. HaKadosh Baruch Hu designed the world with free choice.

If the directive is solid and is for our benefit, why allow us to defy it at all? Wouldn't the world be a better place without free choice? And the answer is no, it would not.

HaKadosh Baruch Hu gives all of us a spark from birth. HaKadosh Baruch Hu then says to us "Ready set … go!" Go off and live your life. Just remember, the purpose is that at the end of your life, the spark will be a flame!"

Now if every one of us was identical, if we all had the exact same physical body, the same brain, the same emotions, the ... same spark, life would be a no-brainer. We would just copy one another, like AI. However, we are not all the same. We are all born with a different spark and a different "vessel." HaKadosh Baruch Hu does not demand that at the end of our lives that our flame will be the same as our neighbor's. All He demands is that, using the vessel given to us, we fan our own unique spark into a unique flame.

It would be nice if everyone was born with their own unique "handbook." I know many parents wish their children were born with a "user manual." The truth is that such a "handbook," or "user manual" does exist, it is called the Torah. How painless would it be if we simply follow the "handbook?" We could travel from point A to point B without mishap.

However, that is not the way HaKadosh Baruch Hu designed us humans. He designed us so that the only way we can truly learn and change, is via personal experience. The only indelible synaptic nerve pattern in our brain is one that is derived from personal experience. That is why it never works when a parent tells a child "Don't rock on your chair, you will fall over and hurt yourself!" Two seconds later, the kid is still rocking. However, when he falls backward and gets a nice bump on the head that takes two weeks to disappear, that cures him from chair rocking for life. HaKadosh Baruch Hu tells us "Do this, do that, don't do this!" And what do we do? We continue "rocking on the chair." And we fall and hurt ourselves and we learn.

In this way we build the "vessel," step by step, drawing on past personal experience. This allows the vessel to grow in strength and contain ever increasing "heat," until it can finally house an intense flame. If you try inject fire into a vessel that is not ready for that intensity, the vessel will shatter and break. This is what happened at Har Sinai which was followed by the sin of the eigel. This is what happened with the four that entered the Pardes. Only R' Akiva emerged intact, because his "vessel" was strong enough to withstand the intensity. Ben Azai, Ben Zoma, Elisha ben Avuyah had not built their "vessels" to the degree necessary to contain that intensity and their vessels shattered.

When HaKadosh Baruch Hu created each and every one of us, each with our own unique vessel and spark, He also created us with our own unique timeline. To get to the next level and build the resilience of the "vessel" – for person A, more often than not requires a different time period than – for person B. Some talk before others, some walk before others, some finish school before others, some get married before others, some discover their "right" profession before others. Every human being has their own unique timeline. We all have to do things in our own good time. Only that way can we learn, change and build the vessel. Trying to rush things – at best will have no effect, or at worst can be disastrous.

HaKadosh Baruch Hu created all humans with a spark. Some humans, using the mechanism of free choice that HaKadosh Baruch Hu encoded into creation, chose to douse that spark rather than fan it, like Eisav, like Yishmael. Some humans, like Yaakov, decided to nurture it. That spark still exists in each and every soul in Am Yisrael, however faint and hidden it might seem.

Sefer Bamidbar and Jewish history is a repetitive tale of Am Yisrael learning from personal experience and building the vessel.

Every journey in the desert and every "journey" through our history as a nation is a personal experience learning curve – on a national level. It is another layer of resilience that strengthens the vessel, until it will be sturdy enough to contain another Har Sinai epiphany (the Geulah) and not shatter like it did last time, when the vessel was not ready for that intensity.

When we look at the world through these spectacles, there is no despair, not on a personal level and not on a national level.

Parshat HaShavua Trivia Question: How many cities of refuge were there in Eretz Yisrael and how many on the opposite side of the Jordan River?

Answer to Last Shiur’s Trivia Question: How often was the Korban Tamid offered in the Beit HaMikdash? Every day, twice a day. Once in the morning and once in the evening.